Chaff, 68(5), 2002-03-25 (2025)

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THE BEER ECU

FAR OUT! ANYTHING THAT
FITS IN MY POCKET
IT COST HIM DON'T COST ME ANYTHI[...]

Supporting the ideals of freedom and fair trade - what can YOU do to help

BEER

A beginner’s guide, as such - looking at the history and processes involved

in beer production

THE BURNING QUESTION
To burn or not to burn? How does the burning and copying of CDs hurt the

music industry, and what are the consequences for YOU?

04

05

10

11

12

14

15[...]ed@musa.org.nz chaff.design.ed@musa.org.nz

Count the number of
times the CHAFF
Choc-full Easter egg
(above) appears in this
week's edition, fill your
details in below, and
go in the draw to win
one of five delicious
chocolate prizes.

Entries are limited to one per
person only. The Winner will be
announced in our next issue
(which is two weeks away... oh
well)

How many?

Student ID:

Of Interest:

My favourite thing in CHAFF
so far has been:

This issue also gives you the
chance to win:

MOVIE PASSES!
page 23

TICKETS TO LADIES’ NIGHT!
page 12

TICKETS TO THE PINK FLOYD
EXPERIENCE!
page 13

BOOK + MUSIC VOUCHERS!
page 20

A TUI PRIZE PACK!
page 25

All Competitions close this week
on Wednesday at 5pm (except
the TUI competition which
remains open until Weds 17th
April, and the Essay Compeition
that remains open until 26th
April).

Winners of Pink Floyd, and
Ladies’ Night,
will be notified by phone.

Have a /01/e/y Easter
break won ’1‘ you.
Remember to be safe,
and be ve /0ts of fun.

COVER DESIGN: Grant Buist

The official newspaper of the
Massey University Students' Assn

“Please think of the

kittens!”

Private Bag
11-222
Palmerston No[...]ndividuals take no responsibility for
all, or any of the views and opinions
expressed herein, and in all
concordance with the material
consisting that which makes us
unaccountable for being therein the
purveyors of freedom of speech and
the voice of filthy students
everywhere.

Editorial

Apathy[...]don’t have to worry about anything,
not having a guilty conscience,” said my flatmate as she stabbed
my other flatmate’s hand with a fork. She didn’t seem to feel
particularly remorseful about it, but it could have been the wine.
I guess apathy has its Virtues.

Politicians. Do you care? Or would you rather clean a
toilet in the Fats with your tongue than endure the latest
opposition whining to the media? It’s probably a bad thing that
people are tuning into Shortland Street instead of watching
“intellectual debate with the Tom Jones wannabe” (my flatmate’s
words, she should keep her drinking problem in check) Paul
Holmes. It’s a good thing TV4 has a music show for those too
apathetic to use the remote when Britney Spears and the like
pollute our eardrums. However, apathetic males manage to get
around this by using the mute button, which tends to please all
present.[...]n
know how big your loan is?) student allowances, the Emergency
Unemployment Benefit, suddenly even the[...]to get up—at—arms over
whose turn it is to do the dishes than bat an eyelid over your loan
statemen[...]rly retirement, just doesn’t seem to be high on the
list of priorities when $1 doubles night rolls around again.
Neither does the toes of others after spending your savings on the
aforementioned $1 doubles night. If anything, we[...]we are
out.

“Life’s pretty cool, you take on the shitty side of life as
much as possible for as long as possible[...]gh. My entire flat is getting profound, and half of them
haven’t even been drinking. Much. “It’s just like getting pissed
out of your head. You remember not to do it for weeks
afterwards, but the next month you have to do it again, just to
reassure yourself that it was a bad thing to do.” But that’s what

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you get from drinking vodka that is sold in plastic bottles. “But
it’s cheap!” Sigh. “It was a great night, what I remember...” This
is the same flatmate who was particularly apathetic towards
kittens, although since receiving the email stating “Every time you
masturbate, God kills a kitten. Please think of the kittens”, he
appears to be enthusiastically playing his part in the worldwide
demise of poor sweet innocent kittens.

Apathy is rife at M[...]entirely
true. We all care about something, it is a matter of perspective,
whether you choose to focus on the smaller picture or the bigger
picture. Whether it is your family, friend[...](however
dependant on alcohol and/or diminishing the kitten population
they may be) or anti—globalisation, anti—capitalism, or for a nice
change, caring about something that isn’t[...]ark moments. Or
perhaps we should all give apathy a chance.

Sapphira

MUSA PRESIDENT
huia welton

Halfway There

Hard to believe that the first semester is almost half
over... After the holidays it’s only seven weeks until exams and
dozens of assignments to complete and hand in... It can be a very
stressful time. I know it makes me fret just thinking about it.

If you’re feeling stressed there are a number of
productive things you can do —

president@musa.org.nz

1) Go see the people at the Student Learning Centre (in the old
army barricks on the oval near business studies). They’re a great
bunch and they can help you out with preparation for exams
and/or assignments.

2) If the stress is making you feel like you need to talk to someone
then a great port of call is Student Counselling (opposite Colombo
Hall). The people that work at Student Counselling are train[...]imes, they are absolutely amazing.
They also have a library of books that can assist you in coping
with heaps of things including anxiety.

3) If your woes are financial you should come and see us at
MUSA. The advocacy coordinator can help you with WINZ stuff[...]tes to your loan and/or allowance. MUSA also
runs a hardship fund so that if no one else can help you then we
will. (if you’d like more information about the hardship fund you
can come up to MUSA and pick up a form or you can make an
appointment to speak with[...]rea
Grant, email her at: Vp.welfare@musa.org.nz)

The best thing about exams and assignments is that
they do end. If you’re going to look for a job over mid semester
break (after you’ve digested that vast quantity of chocolate Easter
eggs) then don’t forget to call into Student Job Search and check
out the job boards. Part of your MUSA levy goes into funding
Student Job Sear[...]s an organisation set up to help you so
use them. In Palmy they are located on Princess Street, just
round the corner from Broadway Ave (where the movie theatre is).
If you’re leaving Palmy then you can always use the other Student
Job Search offices around the country. For more details check
out their website — www.sjs.co.nz.

Have a great Easter, remember to eat plenty of hot cross
buns (my favouritell) and try to have a bit of a break from the
books.

Huia
PS — MUSA is open over all holidays (apart from the public ones

and the days between Christmas and New Year’s) so come[...]We/ton - Wit/7 Mayor and
University Staff cutt/ng the ribbon, ofi‘iC/a/iy opening the new
Massey University Events Centre - seems //7(e on/y yesterday...

Events Centre in action - a we/i-oena ved crowd at this years
Toga pa/ty as part of MUSA s MONSTER ORIENT/l 7'10/V /ast

Signing tne b/an/(et of debt - ac/(noW/edging ten years of student
/oans (and ten years of student nardsnio).

Students trying to claim a fees refund from the
University for classes missed because of the staff strike
that took place on the fourth of March have hit a brick
wall. Those attempting to claim the refund were able to
fill out a Request for Fees Refund form provided by
MUSA, wh[...]arded to Vice—Chancellor
Professor James McWha. The reply students received
from Assistant Vice—Chancellor Professor Graeme Fraser
states that “the industrial action initiated by the
combined unions which resulted in this was outside our
control.”

“While we do[...]not take
place for any reason, we do not believe the classes
missed on 4 March 2002 will have any substantive effect
on your course of studies. It is our understanding that
the material will be covered subsequently, whether in
another medium of instruction or on another occasion.”

Jenny Collett from the Association of University
Staff (AUS) says that because the staff were taking
lawful industrial action, they[...]lost classes. She says that any contingencies are the
responsibility of the University. She went on to say that
it was for these reasons that it was so difficult a decision
for the staff to go ahead with the strike, because the
whole idea of withdrawing their services is so that the
University misses out on them. The staff did not want to
do this to the students and felt for them acutely.

Peter Blakey[...]Massey Palmerston North campus says however that the
strike “shouldn’t have a material effect on the
presentation of the semester’s work.”

MUSA President Huia Welton also reacted to the
University’s reply:’“l strongly believe it was within the
University’s control to prevent the strike, because the
University has an obligation to come to a resolution with
its staff.”

“The fact is that the staff are not being paid for
the day of the strike. The University has the right to
withhold money from the staff when they are striking.
Essentially, the students have paid their fees, so the
money is there...l believe it should be refunded to the
students.”

Miss Welton pointed out the Student Contract
between individual students and the University, which
states that “the University will use best endeavours to

CELCIC I N N

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(39([...]HOBNAIL BOOTS
12TH CALLINISH
13TH CALLINISH
19TH THE RAKES OfT-HE GAEL
20TH BLACK THORNE
26TH CELTIC REUNION
27TH CELTIC REUNION

provide the Student with tuition and supervision of a
professional standard in the course(s) in which the Student
is enrolled.”

Welton went on to say that because of
semesterisation, the courses provided were more
compacted, and it is h[...]us
Benecke says that MUSA’s stance is that’“the University
should recognise that students’ course of study may have
been substantially affected and should recognise that loss,
because the delivery of the course is ultimately the
University’s responsibility. Whether the University decides
to give a financial refund, offer lectures to make up for the
lost ones, or whether something else is arranged with
MUSA, the University has a contract with the individual
students, and has certain obligations,[...]that unless there is
something completely outside the control of the University,
then they are obliged to offer a solution. We admit that
there can be circumstances outside the University’s
control, but they should be prepai[...]enecke points out that if students feel they
have a personal grievance with the University, they can
take those up through the University Grievance Procedure.

The strike took place as staff seeks an 8 percent
pay increase, as opposed to the offer of 2.8 percent for this
year, with another 2 percent next year. Dates for mediation
of the dispute were set for last Friday and next Friday.

“Our members are keen for the Vice—Chancellor to
recommence negotiations with us after such a long delay,”
says Combined Union Negotiator Jan McPherson.

“The mediation is the first opportunity we have
had since December last year to continue to talk to the
employer about the current industrial climate at Massey.
Our members have demonstrated their commitment to
achieving a fair salary settlement and now its up to the
Vice—Chancellor to show some flexibility.”

“Staff are still working to rule across the

campuses and planning further protest action in support of

their negotiating team. If we do not receive a satisfactory
offer through mediation and / or further negotiations
members will be asked to vote on a plan for further

industrial action, including strike action and withholding of

grades, at two—hour stop—work meetings on the 26th and
27th March,” said Jan McPherson.

DOWN[...]ents to
Palmerston North, and
invite them to call in for:

A great range of greenstone, :
paua, and bone jewellery i

e

O
9.[...]ori carvings
0

And Souvenirs and Kiwi niL' [lacs of
All description

Student Discount available

[con[...]ou mung

Guilty Lundy Verdict

On Wednesday night in Palmerston North Mark
Lundy was found guilty of murdering his wife Christine
and their daughter Amber. Public interest was high with
people filling the public gallery whilst another group of
about forty people lingered outside.

The crowd began to clap when Detective Sergeant
Grantham, Detective Sergeant Steve Kelly, and the
Crown prosecution team of Ben Vanderkolk and Peter
Butler exited the courtroom.

Justice Ellis addressed the court after the jury
foreman delivered the verdict, stating that because the
incident was counted as a home invasion, life
imprisonment was the only verdict the court could give
Mr Lundy.

Although the defence can appeal for the length of
the non—parole period, it is set at 13 years. There is also
the potential for a longer non—parole period to be sought
by the Crown.

It took the court less than six hours to decide
that Lundy was guilty, the verdict drawing an
unemotional response from the defendant himself. His
reaction was stoic, merely blinking a lot.

Detective Sergeant Grantham, the inquiry leader,
said that the verdict was a culmination of an enormous
team effort.

“I feel like it’s come to an end. This is it, the end
for us. Now we can move on.”

“I’m just pleased it’s all over, not just for
ourselves as the police, but also for the families.”

Meawhile, as the news of the verdict sinks into
the Palmerston North community, disgust has developed
among some of the residents who lived closest to the
Lundys’. Some residents in Kelvin Grove, where the
murders took place are angered at the epitaph on the
headstones of Christine and Amber, which reads —
“forever l[...]band and father Mark.””

Sensational/37779 the event: The verdict was
big news for Palmerston North[...]

Galileo Alive and Well

The University of Auckland is bringing Galileo
back to life during a month—long programme of events,
starting with a public lecture on the making of the opera
“Galileo”, on 26th March.

Then, on 4th April, the Auckland University English
Department will run a free public seminar, “Galileo — The
Man Who Changed the World?”

From the 10th to the 13th of April comes the
centrepiece of the project, the opera “Galileo”. The opera
depicts Galileo’s contention with the accepted view of the
laws of physics and the natural cosmos. It will be held at
the Maidment Theatre, with tickets costing between $25
and $45.

To wrap up the programme, the University will
then present “The World’s First Physicist”, a hands—on
experience of the instruments used by the famous
scientist. This will run on 20th April.

F[...]from 4.75 percent to 5 percent, which will result in home
interest rates rise to close to 7 percent.[...]’ decision to buy houses will
not be negatively influenced.

“There is always a small percentage of home
owners who are affected by slight moves in mortgage
interest rates, but overall there is more money in New
Zealand at the moment, meaning people are more
confident about committing to long term mortgages.”

“The strong rural economy has flowed into towns
and h[...]domestic
economy is much improved. This is having a positive
effect on the job market, which in turn has created a
greater sense of confidence. People are looking more
favourably at the future and are increasingly happy to
commit to a mortgage.”

Public Not Happy About Gambling

Organiser of nationwide gambling seminars Dave
Macpherson says that one of the biggest talking points so
far has been the realisation by participants that the $150
million given out last year to sports clubs[...]ty groups by pokie bars was less than one—third
of the total lost by communities into the pokie machines.

The seminars relate to the Government’s new
Responsible Gambling Bill, int[...]Parliament by
Government Minister George Hawkins in late February.
One month was given to the Government Administration
Select Committee, which is to report back to Parliament
with its recommendations in mid—May, in order to see the
legislation passed before this year’s General Election.

“Seminar participants were highly supportive of
the new law’s recognition that gambling addiction was
becoming a serious public health problem.” Mr
Macpherson said.

TUES $3 R.T.II’S

Satisfaction on the Way

As a result of the Enrolment 2000 programme,
Massey University made a formal commitment to being a
student—centred organisation. In an effort to let the
students have a stronger voice concerning their satisfaction
at the way non—academic services are provided, the Student
Satisfaction Survey was introduced last year. The aims of
the survey were to:

*provide an independent assessment of students’

current levels of satisfaction with student services

*to help set priorities for improving student

services

*and to assist in training staff to better meet the

needs of students.

6000 students were surveyed, 2550 of whom
replied to the mail—out questionnaire. The information
gained led directly to changes to Massey’s web—based
services, including the introduction of on—line enrolment,
as well as an overhaul which made the site easier to
navigate.

It was found that the 0800 MASSEY service was
also highly popular with those wanting to enrol, and as a
result the service now has a capacity of 2000 calls per day,
rather than the previous 1200.

Moreover, the survey raised awareness of the
importance of career services and the information provided
by the University to graduate students seeking
employment. The careers page of the Massey web—site now
contains a Career Move section, and a Jobs For Grads
section which, in conjunction with Auckland and Waikato
Universitie[...]ements.

This year’s survey will be released at the end of
March to a random selection of students from all of
Massey’s respective campuses. Unlike last year however,
the survey will be sent out to students via e—mail,[...]Sandbrook is
encouraging students to check their in—boxes during the
Easter break and respond.

“This is the one big chance students have for a
direct say in how services are provided, and to make
recommenda[...]easures are now written into Massey’s
Statement of Objectives and student feedback is taken
seriously.

“The survey is the main way Massey identifies
what the most important services are for students. It is of

ch

TH[...]huge importance for them because they are given the
opportunity to drive decision—making.

“This consultation process should give students
confidence the University is spending money wisely on
their behalf and on the things that matter to them. This
is what it means to be a student—focused University.”

Dr Sandbrook went on to say that last year he
was surprised by the high level of interest in the survey
and its results, and that students were mu[...]nding and discerning than he had anticipated. One
of the major surprises of last year’s results was the
extent to which they showed how much the University
under—estimated the importance of the initial few weeks
of each semester to students, and the services that are
provided to them at such times.

This year’s questionnaire is aimed at testing the
acceptance of the changes brought about by last year’s
survey, an[...]mulating personal details to establish

what kind of cross—section of students respond

to the survey

*the information that is provided to those

considerin[...]iven about courses

*students’ experiences with the enrolment

process

*Massey’s support of students into active study,

particularly in initial weeks of classes

*support services during semesters, such[...]recreational services

*disabilities services

*the overall student opinion of the campus

environment

*and the overall student opinion of student

services

Independent company ACNeilson have been
hired to collate the survey, ensuring that students have
complete anonymity. The final day for completing the
questionnaire is19th April, with summary results to be
published on the web. For more information contact Dr
pat S[...]

:aslla Michael Appleton [Salient][...]nd negativity.

Fitzsimons said she believed most of the
Executive was more adept at criticising the way VUWSA
was run than actually doing something c[...]VUWSA and what we shouldn’t be doing They
say the VUWSA Exec has no credibility, and I’m like,
‘Well, you are the Exec, what are you saying about
yourselves?”

When Exec members did come up with ideas,
they rarely put in the hard work to convert them into
actions, she said

“They come up with loads of ideas at Exec
meetings but they haven’t gone to the effort to think
about how those ideas might be put in place and what
the possible problems might be. They seem more
interested in grandstanding than in actually thinking
through the practicalities and courses of action.”

Fitzsimons refused to attribute the problems to
the political split that exists on Exec, but it is seen by
some as being one of the causes.

Fitzsimons, widely seen as part of the Labour
Party’s left wing, is outnumbered politically on the
Executive. She has just two clear allies in Welfare Vice—
President Catherine Belfield—Ha[...]Aletia.

All other Executive members have either
expressed the belief that VUWSA should not enter into
political[...]ies for students, not politics — or are right—of—
centre.

The situation was exacerbated further this month
by the election of Miles Crawford, who claimed that
VUWSA was “too political” and that he was “the opposite
of politically correct”.

An example of the split is the Executive’s
insistence that Fitzsimons show them press releases
before she puts them in circulation, although she said
she didn’t mind[...]bers
“where it is possible and appropriate”.

The split is also evident in the ideas put forward
by the Exec to bolster VUWSA’s image by remodelling it
along commercial lines.

“A lot of them think that, to be respectable, we
need a new image, and a new logo, which I think is a
waste of money. But I guess all this image stuff is a
commerce—related idea which I’m not really in[...]Another similar idea is that VUWSA should spend
a lot of energy into getting sponsorship money.

“They seem to think there’s an endless supply of
money that people will just give to us, but it do[...]k like that.”

All Exec members were e—mailed a draft of this
article and given the opportunity to respond to
Fitzsimons’ claims be[...]Andrew Bignall and
Adrianna Withers all declined the invitation.

Belfield—Haines and Aletia said they felt that
gender was contributing to the split.

Aletia: “They are all young guys, and i[...]hey’ve just moved out from home and are showing a
lack of responsibility. You know, one time a member
wanted Fleur to record what he had to do in the next

inaction ancl negativity

ICC-I1[...]770/75

week, because he couldn’t bother taking a pen and paper
to the meeting.”

Belfield—Haines: “It’s like Fl[...]r them, like she has to mother them.”

She said the VUWSA Exec was a “really frustrating
working environment to work in”.

Apart from Fitzsimons and Belfield—Haines, all of the
Exec members are on the Exec for the first time this year.

Fitzsimons said this lack of experience was
contributing to the problems, and threatened to take
VUWSA away from being the critic and conscience of the
university.

“Well, they are a bit naive, and lacking in
experience, which means that they don’t always
understand the dynamics between the university
management and VUWSA... They think management has
pure intentions, that it is always acting in the best
interests of students, but that’s not always the case. And
they might have known that if they had[...]its positives. It
does mean that they are coming in with new ideas, which
are always welcome.”

Fitzsimons’ conviction that the Exec “doesn’t seem
to know where it’s going” was aroused by a retreat of Exec
members earlier this month, which was design[...]to know each other and to help their planning for
the year ahead.

The week after the retreat, Fitzsimons asked Exec
members to put in writing the individual goals towards
which each of them would be working.

These written goals were to be used as a basis for
awarding Exec members their bonuses.

But at the Exec meeting in which the written goals
were to be discussed, only Fitzsimo[...]rns, she said she had personal
relationships with the individual Exec members and would
continue trying[...]Haines said that all Exec members wanted to sort the rift
out.

Edgeler Makes Fool of VUWSA, Himself

' I _ Sfla Michael Appleton [Salient]

VUWSA Treasurer Graeme Edgeler played loose
with the facts when he tried to drum up a bit of media
attention for himself last week.

Earlier this month, Edgeler moved a motion at
VUWSA’s IGM (Initial General Meeting) that rescinded a
no—confidence motion in Vice—Chancellor Stuart
McCutcheon which the association had passed in 1999.

Edgeler then put out a press release last Tuesday
entitled “Not such a bag guy after all”.

It was dutifully reported by The Dominion, which
headlined a page two story last Wednesday:

“Uni students decide Vice—Chancellor is all right”.

The story started: “They burned an effigy of
Victoria University Vice—Chancellor Stuart McCutcheon
before he even started in his job. Seventeen months
later, the university’s students have decided that he is
not such a bad guy after all.”

What Edgeler didn’t mention in his press release,
and thus what @The Dominion@ was not able to report,
was that his motion was passed by 14 votes to 9,
whereas the original no—confidence motion was passed
by sev[...]eur Fitzsimons said she had
asked Edgeler, before the press release was sent to
media organisations, to include the respective vote
margins, but he failed to do so.

Fitzsimons said some of the things Edgeler
included in his press release made VUWSA look a bit
silly, and hurt its credibility.

In what seemed to be a very premature presidential
campaign speech, Edgeler wrote: “Previously, even when
the VC did something we agreed with we basically had to
act as though he was a prat. He isn’t. He never has been.
The VC may not do everything we would like, and we ho[...]many issues, but we have
never expected him to be a VUWSA lackey”.

Another interesting fact that E[...]to achieve
quorum, 100 voters have to present at the meeting in
question.

Only 23 people voters were interested enough in his
motion to put their hand up, and had anyone asked for a
quorum count, his motion would have been struck out.

That Edgeler himself did not ask for a quorum count
is interesting, because he is usually a stickler for
upholding VUWSA’s constitution.

Indeed, in the very same meeting, Edgeler asked for
a quorum count when Robert Whitaker was standing
unopposed for a position on the university’s academic
committee.

But then Edge[...]g, even if they
were entirely hypocritical.

What a chump.

Arrests Finally Take
Place

The Waitangi Day shooting of Highbury 16 year old
Wallace Whatuira has finally led to the arrests of three
Palmerston North men. Whatuira’s body was found under
a tree on the morning of February the 6th. As a local
Black Power associate, the death led to strong tensions in
the suburb, and increasing gang confrontations.

The three men were Leon Tuirirangi Hakaraia, 23,
char[...]rged
with manslaughter. All three are remanded to the custody
of Palmerston North District Court, although Popo
appeared in Porirua District Court.

Chairman of the Highbury Focus Group, said that
the arrests have come as a bit of a relief because up until
now the progress of the investigation had been causing
some anxiety amongst residents.

The head of the inquiry, Detective Senior Sergeant
Craig Sheridan, commended the members of the
community who had come forward to assist the
investigation.

“It is obvious to the investigation team that the
vast majority of the public have no connection or
sympathy to the criminal minority that have unfairly
given the suburb a bad name.”

“I would like to think that today’s [Wednesday’s]
actions will go some way toward the community returning
to normal life.”

Mr Sherid[...]use
arrests have been made, it does not mean that the
investigation has come to an end. Police are still urging
witnesses and those with any knowledge of the
circumstances surrounding the shooting to come forward.

Coventry Street resident David Dawson, who
walked out on the Highbury Focus Group because of its
lack of action, said the arrests had lifted a huge weight
from the street.

“The whole street is heaving a sigh of relief. The
boys in blue have done a great job. It would be good to see
a lot of young families in the street, because kids make
the street.”

Senior Sergeant Pete Baird says that the police are
not expecting any gang reprisals.

Fun[...]are Palmerston North spokesperson
Donald Kerr has expressed astonishment at the
Palmerston North City Council’s decision to cut funding
for cycle initiatives.

The City Bike Plan was designed to make cycling
safer in Palmerston North. Some of the initiatives it
included were new cycle lanes, better road markings at
intersections and examining the cycle routes into every
school in the city.

Mr Kerr said, “I am shocked that Palmerston
North City Council has totally cut the Bike Plan
Funding. There is over $15 million budgeted for roading,
but the Bike Plan gets zero.”

“Zero funding this year means zero progress,
putting the plan even further behind schedule! Our City
Councillors have made it very clear what they think of
cycling and safety. Zero.”

“How can you have a Manawatu Transport
Strategy without cycling?”

Cycle Aware Palmerston North are calling for the
City Council to urgently re—instate funding for the Bike
Plan as a key part of its efforts to make Palmerston
North a safe, healthy place to live.

Rich Live Longer

The life expectancy of the wealthy is on the
increase, according to new research released in the New
Zealand Journal of Public Health.

Professor Neil Pearce, director of the Massey
University Centre for Public Health Resear[...]lly dropped and life expectancy
has improved over the last century as living, nutrition
and housing conditions have improved. There have also
been drastic drops in the numbers of people smoking,
such as a 21 percent drop that occurred between 1985
and 19[...]eveals that
unskilled manual workers are dying at a faster rate than
those who work in professional and managerial
vocations, and that the gap in life expectancy is getting
bigger.

“The risk of dying was 1.8 times higher in
unskilled manual workers in the 70s, today it’s 2.3
times. The ratio has clearly gone up”.

Those in lower socio—economic groups often
have more stressful jobs and lifestyles, having neither
the time nor money to afford the healthy lifestyle
solutions wealthier people have[...]th rates and
social class differences for periods in the mid 70s, mid
80s and mid 90s, and compiled[...]

I—
.59.

“ ,, 29; 5 CDS 57: A 10 day Kiwi Experience South Island Kiwi Experien[...]des accommodation
1: One Washing Machine hire for the year 30: Black pear] Necklace and Bracelet Set _ from Michael Hill Jewener and transfers to the South Is). Ports of call: Picton, Nelson,
2: One Washing Machine hire for the year - from Central Rentals 31; Ocean and Ice Ska[...]er) 35; 5 x pizza Haven Large pizza's 60: 1 crate of Tui beer and 1 bottle of Jim Beam - from The Mill
7: Sunglasses voucher valued of $185 - from Eye Spy 36: 5 X pizza Haven Large piz[...]43; 5 X pizza Haven Large pizza's Vouchers (come in lots of $5)
15: 12 x Cookie Time Cookies 44; 5 X pizza Haven Large pizza's 68: 1 x $35 worth of Fish $ Chips
16: 12 x Cookie Time Cookies 45; 5 X pizza Haven Large pizza's Vouchers (come in lots of $5)
17: 12 x Cookie Time Cookies 46: 5 X pizza Ha[...]and Smith 751 1 X $50 Pit Stop voucher
22: 1 Pair of shoes (sports/dress/casual) - from Kelly’s Shoe[...]ued at $60 - from Just Cuts

Some Tenders do have a reserve price, if this is not reached prizes will be used at the discretion of “Team Massey" Management.
Only the official tender slips will be counted, these are[...]tender boxes are found. Tenders can be posted at the following sites;
MUSA office and the College of Education (MUCESA) office and Ocean & Ice from 11‘h/3 to 28‘h/3. All results will be publicised in Chaff (15th April). Successful
tenders are to be collected and paid for by the 15th April. With those Lots that have more than one item ie: Cookie Time & Subway, the highest (X) tenders will be

successful. For furt[...]till $26. 50 per °2'doz

Bn’ng US this ad Buy a 5 inch Bub ll: a regularsoda- Duty
and we'll give you an ex[...]

Mahatma Gandhi

In October of 2001, actor Sam Neil,
bug man Ruud Kleinpaste and former
All Black Chris Laidlaw signed the
Fair Trade Coffee Pledge. Along with
over 5000 other people, they were
promising to support the idea that
coffee be traded at a fair price around
the world. More than 20 million
households worldwide, including
people from fifty developing nations,
depend on the proceeds of coffee
production as their main source of
income. The pledge was an effort by these
people to help coff[...]orations,
and to ensure that farmers and artisans in poorer
regions of the world be paid what they deserve for their
efforts. The pledge included rejecting the brands of the
multinational coffee corporates in favour of Fair Trade brands (that is,
goods sold with the fair trade concept) sold in Trade Aid stores around New
Zealand.

Trade Aid is a registered charity organisation that supports
primary producers who live in impoverished areas by buying their goods
and selling them on the New Zealand market. The idea behind Trade Aid is
to pro—actively ensure that primary producers of goods in poorer countries
receive a fair price for their goods, and that large corporations do not reap
unfair profits at the workers’ expense. They want to “educate New
Zealanders about the structural nature of poverty and to engage in fair
trade with people in the majority world”. As a member of the International
Federation for Alternative Trade (IFAT), which promotes the Fair Trade
concept, Trade Aid has taken on that o[...]proach
to conventional international trade. It
is a trading partnership which aims at
sustainable dev[...]ons, by awareness
raising and by campaigning.”

The motto of Trade Aid is that “fair, ethical and sustainable trade will
help the people and the planet”.

Trade Aid goes by the name of Asanti in a handful of stores, in an
experiment to increase their profile amongst customers. Consumers have a
tendency to consider Trade Aid as some sort of unkempt, second—hand type
place, according to Palmerston North store manager Nicky Healy, who says
that is a false impression, because Trade Aid sells brand n[...]goods.

Vi and Richard Cottrell founded Trade Aid in 1973. The couple
travelled to northern India in 1969 to help in a resettlement scheme for
Tibetan refugees. One ini[...]d with was to find buyers
on foreign markets for the traditional Tibetan carpets. On returning to
Christchurch, the Cottrells continued to support this industry. Indeed, their
initial investment in $1000 worth of Tibetan carpets was sold within fifteen
minutes of them being traded. It was then apparent that there was a market
for goods from distant cultures, and that the charges demanded by large
businesses were unfairly marked—up to benefit the seller. What was needed
was an organisation that negotiated a fair price directly with the producers
in exploited and impoverished regions and sold the goods at a low mark—up
so that the communities involved would receive the benefits.

Under the Trade Aid system, a product development manager travels
to regions th[...]heir goods to any
reasonable gain, and negotiates a fair price with the local producers. The
assessment of a fair price involves taking into account the time and effort
required to produce the goods, the quality of them, and the local market
rates of the goods, in an attempt to establish the true cost and worth of the
end product. The producers are paid for their goods up—front, and Trade Aid
only sells them at a small mark—up to cover administration costs.

7[...]s that Trade Aid
try to concentrate their efforts in the places where the need
is greatest, focusing primarily on regions in Asia, Africa,
and Central and South America, although they are
looking to branch into the Pacific.

Trade Aid’s major goal is to sell the products of
these communities. However, Mr Gerathy points out
that although helping the people of poorer regions
is a major concern, they will not be doing anybody
any favours if they do not recognize that the
goods they offer must be of a high quality. Often,
the Trade Aid organisation will invest time and
resources in to developing the skills of the
communities so that the quality of the goods
increases and, once again, the communities
benefit. This may mean something that seems
very simple, but is actually Vital to the producers
themselves, such as buying a farmer a mule to
help carry the produce down a mountain. By
improving sales, the earnings of the primary
producers goes up, increasing the quality of life in their
region, and hopefully breaking the cycle of poverty.
For instance, Trade Aid sells chocolate that comes from a
cocoa farmers’ co—operative in Africa called Kuapa Kokoo.
Kuapa Kokoo was set up in 1993 by cocoa farmers to combat the
threat of private companies who, due to the Ghanaian Government
giving up their monopoly of the industry, were now able to trade in
cocoa. The co—operative is run by
the farmers for the farmers, with
the aims to increase social,
economic, and political[...]production process. Another key
mission statement of the group is
to enhance women’s participation
in all its affairs, with a policy that
a minimum number of the
members on its councils and
committees have to be women.
They have a union, a trading arm,
a credit union for their 35,000
farmers, and a trust which
distributes money to community
projec[...]ltinational
chocolate manufacturers who buy
cocoa in bulk at whatever price
the market dictates, taking no
responsibility for the exploitation
that this leads to. Fair Trade
however, guarantees that farmers
are offered a fair price for their
cocoa, and thereby pro—actively
combat the child slavery that
unfortunately continues to go on
around the world.

There are 30 Trade Aid
stores operating in New Zealand, which are run locally as trusts.
Although the organisation has some paid management, the stores rely on
volunteers from the community to keep them running. Asanti Palmerston
North is currently seeking volunteers, of which Massey University
students usually make up a large percentage. Nicky Healy says that the
turnover of staff at Asanti is quite large, and that they have on average
around 30 volunteers working in the store each year, contributing on
average four hours per week, although it varies between individuals and
the amount of time they have available. She says that often the[...].tradeaid.co.nz.

Fair trade chocolate is

* Free of exploitation,
GE and child slavery

people[...]

Campus Arts and Chaff are
running a 1000 word essay competition
entitled: “WHAT GENETIC
ENGINEERING FIELD TRIALS MEAN T0
N2.” The winners of this competition
will be announced in Chaff before
Graduation and the top essays will be
reprinted in Chaff.

First prize will be $200 worth of
book and music vouchers with 4
runners up receiving vouchers to the
value of $50. A” serious entries will
receive 2 complimentary tickets to the
debate and a panel consisting of the
celebrity debaters and Massey
Professors will judge the competition.

Entries close 26”“ April. Send[...]s to chaff.ed@musa.org.nz with
‘GE Debate’ as the subject.

em

10 Ella“

chaffim usaorgnz

Let the bunnies loose

Let the bunnies loose, it’s Easter/chocolate
weekend, it’s a good time to go see your families, get some
decen[...]ow you’re okay, they
worry you know.

There are a plethora of services here for student support
*Has everyone got their money yet?

Massey can tell you the status of your enrolment through
the 0800 MASSEY number and WINZ can tell you the
status ofa buzz. If you have
problems come make an appointment to see Andrew
Kibblewhite the Advocacy co—ordinator, he’s
faaaaaantastic.[...]problems?

There are information pamphlets up at the MUSA office
that list budgeting advice centres in town, such as the
Manawatu Home Budgeting services phone 3582279 the
Citizen’s Advice bureau on 357 0647 both at 5 Pitt St and
the Financial Freedom Trust on 3576122 on 54 Pascal S[...]loans can be obtained through Financial
Trust and the Angel Fund ph. 3547437.

*Needing a scholarship?

The Awards and scholarships book is available to view at
Registry and on the Massey web site: www.massey.ac.nz
if you’re interested in scholarships relevant to you can
ask to photocopy the page. There are sooooo many
scholarships, not all[...]ommend EVERYONE check out this option.
(Check out the Chaff classifieds for current scholarship
informa[...]ure how to access course related costs?

There is a quote form at Registry which they’ll print out
for your degree and then give it to WINZ and BINGO
money in the bank and a bigger loan.

Check out the rent a tree scheme from crop and food
research over the road, more info later.

Have a good break,
Cheers Andrea

vp.welfa re@musa .org[...]...

Congratulations on wrestling another edition of
Chaff from its lair and added bonus points for starting to
read my column. As a reward here are some handy dates
you may want to put in your diary:
Hunchback of Notre Dame is on at The Regent 5th, 6th 7th
April. Student tickets are on[...]e here from July 18th so if your rugby team wants a
special group discount, now would be the time to book.
Call Ticketek now no 3580000.

If you want to witness the argument of the
Century on GE and GE Field Trials then get ready for The
Great Debate, on the Wednesday 15th May in the Regent
Theatre. That’s right, some of New Zealand’s sharpest
minds and sharpest wits will square off in the biggest GE
debate the country has ever seen. Tree huggers prepare
your[...]will be
confiscated). This debate is as important a landmark as
the David Lange Anti Nuclear debate that shaped
Government policies in the 80s and with Massey

University such a key centre in this country’s Bio Science
industry there may be more than humour riding on the
strengths of the argument.

To add fuel to the fire we here at Campus Arts
and Chaff are running a 1000 word essay competition
entitled: “WHAT GENETIC ENGINEERING FIELD TRIALS
MEANS TO NZ.” The winners of this competition will be
announced in Chaff before Graduation and the top essays
will be reprinted in Chaff.

First prize will be $200 worth of book and music
vouchers with 4 runners up receiving vouchers to the value
of $50. All serious entries will receive 2 complimentary
tickets to the debate and a panel consisting of the celebrity
debaters and Massey Professors will judge the competition.
Entries close 26th April. Send your entries to
chaff.ed@musa.org.nz, with ‘GE Debate’ as the subject.

Duncan McCann

cam pus.a rts@musa.org.nz

Student Allowance
and Benefit pa[...]Kia ora, tatou, greetings everybody,

Last week the Government announced an annual inflation
adjustment to student allowance and benefit rates. The
1.82% increase is due to come into effect on 1 Ap[...]g some students will be able to buy an extra loaf of
bread a week. As Work and Income payments are received
in arrears, weekly pay packets won’t increase until the
following week, that is, 8—14 April. If you are entitled to the
maximum amount of student allowance, you can expect to
receive the following:[...]fi§pt)u:€fj}“il'.‘flan] home $1 51
Cuuplc Afluwanca .
[inr mull-m. our lli‘Pf‘uLlrnl :po[...]4.40
Hath RrHl'lt‘fnfi. 1mm eligible |_l child in muzel jL-zu‘hl 3130 50 $139 35 52.49

; ('im- h[...]annual adjustment? Simply, it is made to
maintain the disposable income of people receiving an
income from the Government so they can cover their cost of
living. If income levels aren’t increased in line with price
increases, then people won’t be[...]s
(many can’t afford to now) and their standard of living will
erode. The Government uses changes in the Consumers
Price Index (CPI) from December the previous year (Dec
2000 to Dec 2001) to work out the annual adjustment to
benefit rates and student allowance payments.

Does the annual adjustment accurately reflect changes in
the cost of living of people on a benefit or student
allowance? No, probably not. The CPI is calculated on the
goods and services generally purchased by everyon[...]comes and people living by
themselves. Therefore, the Index includes a significant
number of luxury goods, preference brands and other
goods and services people on a benefit or the student
allowance simply couldn’t afford to buy or, at the very
least, aren’t likely to buy. Consequently, if the basic goods
and services usually brought by people on a benefit or
student allowance (eg. bread, 2 minute noodles etc) are
increasing in price at a higher rate compared to goods they
wouldn’t buy (for example, overseas air travel), then the
annual CPI adjustment will underestimate the increase in
their cost of living. While it is hard to say if the 1.82%
increase this year underestimates or overestimates the
actual cost increase faced by beneficiaries and people on
student allowance, consider this: over the last 12 months
food has risen by 6.7%, including milk increasing by 13.5%
and meat, fish and poultry by a whopping 14%. Other
essential costs have also increased at a higher rate than
the CPI, including health care (5.1%), public transpo[...]that some essential costs have also increased at a
rate less than the CPI (for example, power, gas, and
housing rentals), there is some indication that the cost of
some luxury goods and services have either decreased or
increased at a lesser rate than the CPI, for example, petrol
(not classified as an es[...]le this comparison is not
conclusive, it suggests the cost of living for beneficiaries

Also, keep in mind that beneficiaries (etc.) have been
paying inflated prices for essential goods and services for
12 months before thethe annual
adjustment at the end of the year. It’s no wonder they
struggle so much more when food prices start to go up in
January and February every year! This problem is
obviously exasperated when the CPI is consistently
increasing at a higher rate than the year before, and isn’t
a problem when it’s increasing at a lesser rate.

What about student loan living costs? This is where the
story turns more sour. Student loan living cost payments
are not inflation adjusted and won’t be increased on the
1St of April. Why not? Well, you might like to ask the
Minister of Social Services, Steve Maharey, this question.
The maximum rate of $150 per week was established at a
Government Cabinet meeting on the 7th of October 1991,
and the maximum living costs a student can receive has
not changed since. There was no annual adjustment
provision introduced with the loan scheme. It’s not
surprising that 10 years[...]g it much
harder to cover their basic costs with, in terms of
purchasing power, $150 in 1991 being equivalent to $124
today. Consider what it’s like for those students living in
Auckland or Wellington who are paying $100—$120[...]ting students having to rely even
more heavily on the student loan scheme, but the truth is
some students are struggling to manage on $150 per week
and it’s time for the Government to come up with more
sustainable options.

Have a nice, and thoughtful, week. If you’d like to contact
the MUSA Advocacy Service or myself, whip on up to the
MUSA Office (Student Association Building), or ph[...]urces:

Statistics New Zealand (2001). ‘Hot Off the Press:
Consumers Price Index December 2001 Quarte[...]ngton.

Statistics New Zealand (2001). ‘Hot Off the Press: Food
Price Index January 2002’. Unpublis[...]summer is finally over, making black
trench coats a practical fashion option.

Our first event had us storming forts in the
esplanade. Getting strange looks from children an[...]specially those who
gave such impressive displays of valour.

Fox and hound was made less than difficult for the
fox, by there being less than lots of hounds. Especially
with Mort wielding Lacy Socks with such brutal efficiency.
However all and all it was a fun night, with us ending up
fighting up and down[...]nd receiving injuries after challenges “Is thah the besh
you can do?!”

This week we’re having a standard round so let’s
see some creative and/o[...]to live on
your knees.

Cohnnns

WHEAT - From the Massey Chaplains

Easter break!

It’s the final week before the Easter break! For
weeks now the shops have been full of Easter eggs,
chocolate bunnies and hot cross buns[...]r—commercialised and for
Christians who observe the season of Lent, the
appearance of row upon row of chocolate eggs weeks
before Easter is nothing but a temptation. It signals the
secular world’s complete lack of understanding or respect
for the meaning of Easter and the forty days of Lent
preceding it. (Lent is a time of preparation through prayer,
almsgiving and fastin[...]ding too much
money, etc.)

This week is not only the last week before a
break from lectures and a chocolate binge on Sunday.
Christians call this week, ‘Holy Week’, because it is the
week when we walk with Jesus through the last days of
his life and prepare to celebrate the Easter mystery once
again. Holy Week begins with[...]nce into
Jerusalem on Palm Sunday and leads us to the ‘triduum’
— the celebration of the Last Supper on Holy Thursday
when Jesus gave new meaning to the ancient Meal of
Passover and washed the disciples’ feet (setting them an
example of being servants of the new Church not power—
hungry authority figures[...]cifixion on Good
Friday and his resurrection from the dead on Easter
Sunday when he appeared to his disciples, filling them
with new hope.

We all have times in our lives when we need
hope. When we’re burdene[...]been hurt by someone, or when
we suffer feelings of depression, stress or despair. Easter
offers hope, hope that from a terrible, hopeless situation,
something new and surprising can be born. We have all
heard stories of people who suffer a serious accident
causing them physical harm, perhaps even permanent
disability, and yet they manage to see a ‘bright side’.

I know one man who describes his accident of
many years ago as a ‘wake up call from God’. He is one of
the most prayerful, faith—filled and gentle people I know.
Only days after the devastation of the September 1 1
terrorist attacks, people in New York were gathering
together to help those affected by the tragedy and many
spoke of the wonderful community spirit that grew up out
of the disaster.

When the disciples witnessed the painful death
of their close friend at the hands of the powerful, they
must have been devastated, grief stricken, and filled with
despair. Imagine the joy and hope they experienced when
Jesus came bac[...]among them. This is
what Easter is all about — the belief that Christ can
transform a desperate situation by bringing hope and joy.

Hannah Nash

Catholic Chaplain

You can find Hannah and the other Massey Chaplains,
Mary Eastham (Catholic Ch[...]Mc Grath
(Chaplain for International Students) at the Chaplaincy
Centre on Colombo Rd. Please drop by and say Hi, make
use of the lounge, prayer room and kitchen or call us[...]

The Wall

After the stunning success and sell—out shows based on Pi[...]’s Court
Pulse concert, 9 piece Wellington Band The Pink Floyd Experience have embarked on a
new project that has once again captured the imagination and enthusiasm of Floyd fans
nationwide. In The Flesh Productions presents:

The Pink Floyd Experience The Wall

When The Pink Floyd Experience The Wall show debuted in November 2001, sell
out shows were met with stand[...]singer Stan Gratkowski is absolutely captivating in this theatrical
showpiece, his stunning vocal talent backed once again by the huge blazing guitar solos
of Darren Whittaker and the mezmerising keyboard swells of Glen Ahearn. Drumming
and backing vocalist Rob Ju is outstandingly solid and precise, a pivotal key to this
performance. The accompaniment of bassist Ken Te Tau completes this tight rhythm
section.

The vocal talents of Olivia Wordsworth, Angela Duncan and Lynley Goodison
provide the crisp backing harmonies completing this Floydian ensemble. A band filled
with incredible talent, these guys engage you with an exceptionably high level of musical
excellence, exuding passion and spirit into a breathtaking performance.

The first half of the show opens with a compilation of classic Floyd hits. Then!
The main feature of The Wall in its entirety. Henchmen building an 8ft high wall,[...]nning set designs and costumes that take you back
in time, a re—designed intelligent light show, a larger PA, and of course, the band who
will rock you, mesmerise and enthral you as they take you on an insane musical journey
seen through the eyes of Pink.

Love, Passion and
Betrayal

When the average person thinks about ballet,
the first things that come to mind are tiny petite
females, white tutus and classical music. While in a
lot of cases this is true, the Royal New Zealand’s
school of Ballet’s current production, is this, but also
much, much more.

The Hunchback of Notre Dame, their current
production, is the epic tale of Quasimodo, (Toby
Behan), and his love for Esmerelda, (Larissa Wright). A beautiful gypsy, Esmerelda’s
grace and passion for life makes her the object of many a man’s affection, and the story
tells of conflict, murder and betrayal, all of which occur, in the name of love. With many
unexpected twists, this drama has a tragic ending which UK choreographer, Michael
Pin[...]tention, grabs your emotions and puts you through the spin
drier”.

The Danish Royal Ballet’s Principle Dancer, Poul Gnatt, founded the Royal New
Zealand School of Ballet in 1953. In those days, tours consisted of the dancers not only
dancing, but also setting up and creating the sets, helping with the lighting etc. Reliant
on the local communities for accommodation, the support for the Company was
tremendous. By the 1980s, the school’s reputation for staging full length, dramatic
works had grown and they soon became hallmarks for the company. In 1966 a new
Artistic Director was appointed, Matz Skoog, and finally in 1998, the New Zealand
School of Ballet moved to its first permanent premises at the Wellington’s WestpacTrust
St James Theatre.

The NZ Ballet School is presently touring New Zealand, and while the company
performed down in Christchurch, I was lucky enough to be able to squeeze a quick
telephone interview in with one of the dancers on tour. His name is Ben Conquest, and
he is a 21 year old, natural dancer. Born in Sydney, he did not begin dancing until he
was 15. When Ben’s mother took him to see a ballet, it sparked an interest in him that
has never left. At first, he says, dancing was purely recreational, after school, and in
between his games of rugby league. But as he advanced in his dancing he decided to
pursue dancing as a career, in the end choosing to move to Melbourne to study at the
Australian School of Ballet, over being a hooker in the Rugby League Junior team in
Sydney.

From 1997 — 1999, Ben studied ballet in Melbourne, and when the chance to
move to New Zealand to join the Royal New Zealand School of Ballet arose in 2000, he
jumped at the chance. When asked if he regretted his decision t[...], “Not at all! I’d played for so long by then the challenge had sort of worn out. I
didn’t really wanna do it for a career anyway”.

In the two and a bit years since Ben has been there, he has been involved in
eight productions and tours. All of the productions have been different, and he claims
th[...]duction is absolutely “great”. Ben says that, The Hunchback ofNotre Dame,
is more a”‘dance drama’ than a straight ballet: “not like your Swan Lakes or your
Sleeping Beauties, which are very classical, it has a very strong story to it . . . . kinda
like a movie”.

For those of you that wish to go and see, The Hunchback ofNotre Dame, they will
be performing in the Palmerston North Regent Theatre from the 5th — 7th of April. No
matter how many ballets you have witnes[...]been to one
before, this production is said to be a must see. With a cover charge of only $20 for
students, it is an excellent opportunity to witness first hand the show everyone is raving
about. And if you keep your eyes open, you will see Ben Conquest, as a Medieval
peasant in the first act, a drunk in the second act, and also in the big fight sequence in
the third act.

Ben and the rest of the dance team are all highly skilled and trained dancers.
The hours and physical energy they place into their job is astounding, and at the same
time, awe inspiring. Their latest production, The Hunchback ofNotre Dame, is no
exception to the high quality productions that we, as a country, have come to expect,
and I assure you all that it will be a night out you will not forget.

Rebecca McGrath

hat's 0n

(fur:

INina's the SM"

Monday March 25

- AGM for the Massey Child Care Centre — The Centre Bourke Road,
Massey University Turitea Cam[...]nts with Control Card $12,
Tues - Thurs. Includes a free beer or glass of house wine.

- Chamber Music New Zealand

— Belcea Quartet at the Regent on Broadway, 8pm. Tickets for non-
subscri[...], Brubeck, GMC & One Bad Weekend performing at
“The Stomach”, 76 Lombard Street. All ages $6 at the door.

Coming Up:

The Hunchback of Notre Dame

- New Zealand Ballet, 5-7 April at the Regent Theatre. $20 with
student ID. Tickets available from Ticketek.

The Wall

- The Pink Floyd Experience, LIVE at the Regent Theatre - Thursday
11 April 2002.

CHAFF has a double pass to give
away each week to Ladies’ Night at
Centrepoint. The winner will be drawn
at random from entries that correctly gig.
indentify the celebrity chest (right) 3‘

This weeks winner: Villa Ngawaka

come 0/7 up to the CHAFF office and co//ecz‘ your
prfze/ - next we[...]fled b y
PHONE

NAME 81. PHONE NUMBER:

OWNER OF THE CELEBRITY
CHEST IS:

ID #:

THE
_ PINK FLOYD
‘K‘élié‘é’fiir‘iiéwr'[...]ll

MP3 Player Winner:
Karen Lane (right) and
one of the five ANZ

winners - Sophia Pech PRESENTS

(left)[...]SIDE; THIS ISSUE
V alarm flock — Richard Billin OF C HAEFF, A C HAN C E
Con ratulations to all inners' I F 0 R Y U T 0 G E T

g W ' - .' YOUR H --iNDS ON

A DOUBiLE PASS
WIN!

CHAFF has a double pass to give away to see the Pink Floyd
Experience, LIVE at the Regent Theatre - Thursday 11 April

2002.

7'0 go into the draw, f/7/ in your deta/Vs [be/ow. Entr/es C/ose Wednesd[...]

Following the controversial re—election of
Zimbabwe’s President Robert Mugabe the situation for the
country’s gay community looks grim.

Over the past twelve months thousands of gay
Zimbabweans have fled the country and its anti—gay regime.
Mugabe has openly said he wants to rid the country of
homosexuals. Gays in Zimbabwe, formerly known as
Rhodesia, are regularly tortured and beaten.

Leaders of EU countries, the U.S., and the two
most powerful southern African nations, South Africa and
Nigeria, boycotted the president’s inauguration after
finding his election ‘unacceptably flawed’. The
Commonwealth is said to be considering suspension of
the nation’s membership due to the irregular election.

NZ Police to recruit gays at Big Gay Out

Auckland police are to use the Hero Big Gay Out
event to try to recruit gays and lesbians into the force.

“We’re missing out on a huge proportion of
valuable potential people who could join the police,” says
out gay officer Senior Sergeant Mark Richards of the
Counties—Manukau Police district. He says having a stand
at the BGO this Sunday will also be an opportunity “for
the queer community to feel more comfortable about the
police.”

Finland legalizes gay partnerships

Homosexual partnerships have become legally
binding in Finland.

New legislation in Finland means that couples
who are 18 and over can register a same—sex union that is
recognised by the law. They cannot, however, adopt
children or use the same surname. The legislation gives
gay couples the same rights as married heterosexual
couples when inheriting each other’s property and in
cases of divorce.

Australian tribunal says abused
man was not vilified

A homophobic man in Australia who verbally
abused his gay neighbour and defaced his property “did
not vilify the gay man,” says an Equal Opportunities
Tribunal.[...]Dye defaced his gay neighbour’s
door by drawing a large penis accompanied by the words
“fag lives here, faggots should die.” H[...]poofter”, “faggot” and other obscenities at the neighbour,
urinated against his door and smeared human faeces
outside his flat. The incidents themselves did not incite
ordinary people to feel hatred towards the man, said the
tribunal which ordered Dye to pay $1,000 and make a
written apology.

Egypt sentences five more to h[...]tenced five more
suspected gay men to three years in prison with hard
labour, continuing a trend that is alarming human rights
advocates.

A spokesperson for the International Gay and
Lesbian Human Rights Commission said the defendants
had been “subjected to brutal torture through beatings
and electroshock in the two months since their
detention.” The men subsequently pleaded guilty to
debauchery and running a house for gay sex parties. The
case comes soon after a trial of 52 allegedly gay men
arrested on a Nile houseboat, many of whom were
similarly jailed.

Taiwan working on sa[...]Taiwan’s government is reported to have drafted a
law to legalise civil unions of same—sex couples.

A spokesman for the homosexual lobby group,
the Tongzhen Hotline Association has told the AFP news
agency the law is part of official efforts to safeguard
human rights. But the group believes it will be some time
before it bec[...]ride bash date set

Europride, which claims to be the largest gay
event in Europe, will take place from June 15 to July 7,
2002 in Cologne.

More than one million lesbian, gay, bis[...]er and heterosexual visitors are expected to view
the Europride parade when it winds through the heart of
the city. The theme for this year’s march and parade is the
rather cumbersome: “Cologne celebrates diversity — let’s
make Europe a place for all of us!”

NZ MP says same sex relationships
three y[...]will move
on recognising same—sex relationships in the next three to
four years.

Gay and lesbian couples want the same rights as
married heterosexual couples, Barnett says, and the
Government is working on legislation to allow “[...]nce same—sex
relationships had been recognised, the focus would go on
laws which gave married couples[...]edicts gays and lesbians should have
equal rights in about 10 years.

New York bank ousts Boy Scouts

The HSBC bank in New York is refusing to allow a
Boy Scouts of America group to use their building, saying
the Scouts policy of excluding gays is inconsistent with the
company’s commitment to diversity.

The central New York bank building had been
used by the scouts for regular meetings and they have been
given until the end of June to leave. Headquartered in
London, HSBC is one of the world’s largest banking and
financial institutions. The Scouts have their bank account
at HSBC but the bank has not told them to close the
account.

HSBC joins hundreds of other corporations,
organizations, cities and prominent individuals who have
withdrawn their support from the Boy Scouts of America
after the US. Supreme Court ruled in June 2000 that they
could continue to exclude gay[...]homosexuals, says president

“There are no gays in Uganda,” said President
Yoweri Museveni, whom the Commonwealth gave an award
for AIDS prevention.

Accepting the award from Commonwealth
Secretary—General Don McKinnon at CHOGM in
Queensland he said: “AIDS spreads.... through unprotected
sex. We don’t have homosexuals in Uganda so this is
mainly heterosexual transmissio[...]ct on premarital and extra—marital
sex and much of the blame for AIDS could be attributed to
the liberalism of Africa’s European partners.

Human rights watchdog Amnesty International
said in a report last June that it had documented cases of
homosexuals being tortured in Uganda. The report
compiled alleged cases of torture and mistreatment in 30
countries including Uganda, Pakistan, Argentina, Russia
and the United States.

EU shies away from gay adoption

The European Court of Human Rights has ruled
that members of the European Union can refuse to allow
gays and lesbians to adopt.

The court said there were significant “divisions
within the scientific community about the possible
consequences of children being brought up by one or more
homosexual parents.” As a result, it said the decision to
allow gays and lesbians to adopt should be left to
individual member states. The decision has angered gay
rights activists who had hoped a blanket ruling endorsing
gay adoption would force[...]e’s largest football team bars gays

Gay groups in Chile are protesting against the owner
of the county’s largest football team after he announced he
would never hire a gay athlete. Rene Orozco says his
Universidad de Chile team is looking for new players. But, he
told the newspaper La Cuarta, Orozco says the club is looking
for “real men, who are hairy, s[...]other species” and said, “they should go
join a women’s team.” Gay rights activist Rolando Jimenez
has branded Orozco as a “homophobic and ignorant
troglodyte.” He said[...]still thinks he’s so
funny after we have spent a couple of days shouting ourselves
hoarse outside his office[...]out.com, cnn.com, and other
online sources.

Take a piece of my
heart

One day a young man was standing in the
middle of the town proclaiming that he had the most
beautiful heart in the whole valley. A large crowd
gathered and they all admired his heart for it was
perfect. There was not a mark or a flaw in it. Yes, they
all agreed it truly was the most beautiful heart they had
ever seen. The young man was very proud and boasted
more loudly[...]eautiful heart.

Suddenly, an old man appeared at the front of
the crowd and said, “Why your heart is not nearly as
beautiful as mine.” The crowd and the young man looked
at the old man’s heart. It was beating strongly, but full
of scars, it had places where pieces had been removed
and other pieces put in, but they didn’t fit quite right
and there were several jagged edges.

In fact, in some places there were deep gouges
where whole pieces were missing. The people stared —
how can he say his heart is more beautiful, they
thought? The young man looked at the old man’s heart
and saw its state and laughed.[...]our heart with mine, mine is perfect
and yours is a mess of scars and tears.”

“Yes,” said the old man, “yours is perfect—
looking but I would never trade with you. You see, every
scar represents a person to whom I have given my love —
I tear out a piece of my heart and give it to them, and
often they give me a piece of their heart which fits into
the empty place in my heart, but because the pieces
aren’t exact, I have some rough edges, which I cherish,
because they remind me of the love we shared.

“Sometimes I have given pieces of my heart
away, and the other person hasn’t returned a piece of
his heart to me. These are the empty gouges — giving
love is taking a chance. Although these gouges are
painful, they stay open, reminding me of the love I have
for these people too, and I hope someday they may
return and fill the space I have waiting. So now do you
see what true beauty is?”

The young man stood silently with tears
running down his cheeks. He walked up to the old man,
reached into his perfect young and beautiful heart, and
ripped a piece out. He offered it to the old man with
trembling hands. The old man took his offering, placed
it in his heart and then took a piece from his old scarred
heart and placed it in the wound in the young man’s
heart. It fit, but not perfectly, as there were some jagged
edges.

The young man looked at his heart, not perfect
anymore but more beautiful than ever, since love from
the old man’s heart flowed into his. They embraced[...]side.

How sad it must be to go through life with a
whole heart.

Love like you’ve never been hurt.[...]hing.

Word is Out

While enjoying whizzing round thea “forum for ideas about political, social and
ec[...]ke it home from Uni and you’re not horrified at the
thought of facing anything resembling yet another
journal ar[...]ight enjoy checking out this
site. Word Is Out is a new publication with only two
issues to date and looks to be a promising way of
keeping up with the play in terms of queer issues/
discussion. Can be found at[...]

Tena koutou
katoa!

Nga mihi nui ki a koutou
te hunga tauhou ki Te Kunenga ki
Purehuroa[...]tua, ko Ngati Kahungunu, ko Tuhoe, ko Te Whanau—a—
Apanui oku nei hononga. I te taha o toku whaea, ko Te Ati
Haunui—a—Paparangi, ko Ngati Rangi, ko Ngati Tuwharetoa,[...]o Rangitane.

My name is Rawiri Tinirau, and I am the
Kaiwhakahaere for Manawatahi. The position of
Kaiwhakahaere is a new position, and is recognised as the
‘president’ or ‘head’ of Manawatahi. Its creation has finally
seen the separation of this role from the Maori Students’
Officer position. It is hoped that this segregation of duties
will lead to more being done for Manawatahi, and therefore,
our Maori students. Nga mihi nui ki a koutou i kawe i te
turanga o te Kaitakawaenga Mao[...]being particularly eventful for Te
Roopu Whaiti (the Manawatahi Executive) and all our
Maori students, as we were involved in Market Day, the
first—year Powhiri (at Te Putahi a Toi), Clubs Day and of
course, the Po Whakangahau. For those of you who were
able to make it to these functions,[...]ies about those
events, as well as having learned a little bit about the
support and services Manawatahi offers. Don’t w[...]out on these events — there will be plenty
more of them in the near future, including Maori
Graduation, Te Wiki o te Reo Maori, Te Haerenga
Whakawhanaungatanga, the Poroporoaki etc.

On a more serious note, I hope that your studies
are g[...]oesn’t take long before assessments are
due and of course, there is all that reading! Though I
encou[...]out from your study, whether that be going out on the
town, being involved in sport, going home for weekends, or
attending hui[...]th our friends,
whanau, hapu or iwi. I spend much of my time voluntarily
tutoring the kapahaka Tama Tu Tama Ora, based at Tararua
College in Pahiatua (northern Wairarapa). Though it is time
consuming, and at times, very challenging (l), it is a good
way of keeping my iwi connections alive (my father and
g[...]cultural identity. I hope that simple sacrifices
of my time and energy will lead to future benefits for these
students, as they become aware of the contribution that
they may make to the future of our people and the nation
of Aotearoa.

Heoti noa e te iwi, kia kaha tatou ki te hapai ake i
a tatou tamariki mokopuna. E mohio nei tatou, ko ra[...]@ GRAEME BEAL 2000

HEMIr I MET MY DAD FOR
THE FIRST TIME. THE
OTHER DAY!

Maori People - Out There, and Doing[...]a, kia ora, and nau mai hoki mai, to another
week of light endorsement for some of our Maori people
who are out there doing it and doing it well. This week we
take a little deviation from the BMVA to another flavour.
This week’s winner of the kumara vine incorporated
societies profile goes to...

Veronica Tawhai, one of our very own Kaitautoko
Maori, who represents in the College of Humanities and
Social Sciences. You can find Ronnie on the 5th floor of
the Social Science Tower in cubicle 31, so feel free to drop
in for a coffee with her. And this talented sista can hook
you up with a whole myriad of things. So if you are a
Maori student and in need of anything as yet undefined
then this is the gurl that you will be wanting to give a holla.

Anyway, anyway... over a coffee in her office these
were a few things we discussed. Ronnie is of Uepohatu
descent from Ngati Porou and her mission statement for
the position of Kaitautoko Maori goes sumthin like this: to
promo[...]s to your
advantage and you never know your luck. In her part time
this sista takes centre stage in kapahaka, recently
representing live in front of some thousands of unknown
quantities of Maori at National Kapahaka Comps in
Tamakimakaurau (Now known as Auckland, but was in
fact the hub of hundreds of swooning women all vying for a
horizontal position with Tamaki, a chief of the area who
reportedly had a hundred lovers, thus Tamaki (the man)
makau (lover) rau (one hundred). And could that also be a
reason why sistas at the touch nationals were lining up to
watch the Tamaki players...? I don’t know but J from team

Manawatahi

Manawatahi Mission Statement.

To provide a culturally safe environment for Maori
Students to[...]otential within Massey University.
To acknowledge the Tiriti O Waitangi as the founding
document of Aotearoa and Tino Rangatiratanga, movement
toward[...]ssey University’s Maori Students
‘Association in Palmerston North. An organisation to
advocate and[...]are
responsible for administration and management of
Manawatahi. They are elected, volunteer students[...]aiti 2002 are:

Kaiwhakahaere — Rawiri Tinirau, a Bachelor of Arts in
Maori Studies and Bachelor of Business Studies with
Accountancy Endorsement, provides support by liaising
between and on behalf of Manawatahi whanau and the
Kaitakawaenga, Maori Students Officer.

Kaiawhina — Deb Tatana, a Bachelor of Arts in both Media
Studies and Psychology, is responsible for Manawatahi at
ground level and supports the Kaiwhakahaere position.
Kaitaiki Putea — Donata Kauika Stevens, a Bachelor of
Social Work, will be taking care of the financial aspects for
Manawatahi.

Kaiwhakarite Hui — This person will be responsible for the
planning and organisation of Manawatahi main events in
the year. These include Orientation Week, Maori
Gradu[...]nd Poroporoaki.
Kaiwhakapaoho — Danyelle Baker, a Bachelor of Arts in
both Psychologyand Maori Studies, oversees and or[...]F and Mana
Irirangi.

Kaiminiti — Harata Terry, a Bachelor of Arts in both Maori
Studies and Education student, documents the
Manawatahi Hui A Whanau minutes.

FOR THE FIRST TIME?

8
N
J
‘
m
m
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5
(
m
CI
m
x
q
2

Ma[...]olitical awareness (big ups)
amongst Maori and is in fact renowned for being a social
purerehua (butterfly), to which I must admit she does in
true style. Speaking of which, she has sum phat home
designed apparel that is definitely off the hook! Flavour
all the way, and since the local clubs don’t stay open
long enough for her[...]to
get an all night fix (now you know she’s up in herel). She
has aspirations of being a Maori Educational Research
and Policy Developer, which may see her eventually
studying in London, apparently one of the only
institutions that can quench this girl’s t[...]ittedly obsessed with contemporary Maori
artwork, the pursuit of excellence and creative methods
of support. And just in case you don’t believe me, here’s
a piece that was created especially for the white board in
her office by none other than... a BMVA student (oh how
hooked up is that... and the price is negotiable). And to
further liquefy your disbelief... Miss Tawhai insists that
at the end of her studies she will have... a BA double
major in Maori Studies and Social Policy, a Masters in
Education, a Masters of Research specialising in
Education from the University of North London, and a
Masters of the Universe. In a nut shell.

I did previously inform you that we would be
meeting some inspiring and aspiring Maori out there in
the Varsity playground, and could you be more inspire[...]Maori Gurl

Kaitiaki Tari — Juanita Temarama, a Bachelor of
Technology in Manufacturing 81. Industrial Technology,
supports Te Roopu Whaiti by taking care of Manawatahi
administration.

MANAWATAHI SERVICES

Te Atawhai is the Maori student’s space. All Maori
students are welcome to use the kitchen facilities and
enjoy the warm atmosphere of whanaungatanga. A koha
for tea, coffee, milo would be appreciated, though the
good conversation and environment is free. A study area
and telephone are also available for Maori student use.
Manawatahi Computer Room, located in the MUSA
corridor, facilitates basic computing needs[...]are four work stations, two coloured
printers and a scanner that are available for Maori
student use.[...]ow to apply for this funding can be
obtained from a Te Roopu Whaiti member or the Kaitiaki
Tari.

MANAWATAHI HUI A WHANAU

Manawatahi whanau meetings, occur every W[...]dent
issues and to stay informed.

Manawatahi Hui A Tau, Annual General Meeting, occurs
in semester two of every year, where Te Roopu Whaiti
Elections are a[...]T! WHERE'S HE BEEN BRO? MAXIMUM SECURITY!

'9
.6

a '

E

cllan 15

Grain: Usually barley, but sometimes wheat, or even
millet or rice. The selection of the barley is the first
crucial step in brewing, as the features of the grain will
provide the basis for the colour, flavour and alcohol
content. Malting barley comes in two main forms, two
row and six row. This refers to the rows of grains on the
seed head. Two row barley is preferred for use in lagers
and other light beers, while six row barley is more suited
for ales. In NZ, most barley is grown in Otago, with some
also grown in the Ohakea region.

Water: Beer is mostly water, and huge
quantities are used throughout the
brewing process. The composition of
minerals in the water makes a great
difference in the character of the beer.
Change the water and you change the
beer. For this reason, old breweries in
England and Europe were often sited
where they are now because the local
water supply happened to be more
suitable for brewing. In general, the
higher the mineral content, the more
bitter the resultant beer.

Hops: Hops are the flowering heads of female Humulus
lupulus plants. They form cone like structures known as
strobili which are added to the beer either as whole dried
hops, or as pellets or extracts. Hops were used for brewing by the
Egyptians around 6OOBC, but the technique

8th century. Hops are added to beer to[...]also for their bactericidal quality,
which until the advent of
pasteurisation was all that stopped
beer going sour.

Yeast: Single celled fungi from the
genus Saccharomyces. The yeast
metabolises the dissolved sugars in the
wort, creating carbon dioxide and
alcohol in the process. The type of
yeast plays a large part in determining
the resultant style of beer. Brewer’s
yeast is grouped into two main
c[...]m (SS—70°C) temperatures while

fermenting. If the temperature drops too low, the yeast would
sporulate (form protective spores), stop the fermentation process,

“WA-rm:
. 4:,“

seems to have been lost for a period, as European
brewers did not start using them until the 7th or

Here it is, the promised beery extravaganza! The following is a
short description of a typical brewing process. Due to space

restrictions, I could not provide details of every type of brewing
process, but will instead list the major changes for a few of the
alternative styles.

and ruin the beer. Top fermenting yeast rises to the surface of the
wort during fermentation, where it is skimmed off the top before
the beer is drawn.

Bottom fermenting yeast first arose in the middle ages, where
Bavarian brewers discovered by accident that if they let the
temperature fall, their yeast did not stop fermenting. They took to
storing their beer at low temperatures in ice caves where the yeast
would keep fermenting slowly all winter. This style of beer is called
lager, from the German lagern, to store, so technically any beer
which is made using this type of yeast (which is most of them) is
termed a lager. At these low temperatures, the yeast settles at the
bottom of the cask, and allows the beer to be drawn off the top this
made it possible to obtain clear beer without filtering, and is now
the world’s most widely used brewing method.

The selection of ingredients is merely the start of the entire
process, beer doesn’t happen by itself. The following is a brief
description of the major stages of the brewing process.

Malting: This is the process whereby the grain is allowed to
germinate, thus developing the enzymes which convert the food
stores in the form of starch into soluble sugars able to be
metabolised by yeast. First, the grain is soaked for up to 72 hours,
with the water changed at least every 24 hours. Next, the water is
drained from the vat, and the grain allowed to germinate.
Traditionally this is done by spreading the grain out on a stone
floor, and turning it regularly. This takes 8 to 15 days, depending
on temperature. At the appropriate stage the grain is dried in a
kiln to halt the germination process, then roasted to give the
desired colour. This takes 3 to 5 days, after which the grain is now
called malt.

The colour of the malt affects the type of beer, darker malts are
used for ales, stouts, por[...]ener, brown ales and all lighter beers.

Mashing: The malt is now soaked in a large vat called a tun, this
allows the enzymes formed during germination to get to work on
the starch stores in the seed. Temperatures and times are varied
depending on the desired types and proportions
of sugars. The last step in the mashing process
is the mash—out. This involves a brief heating to
denature the enzymes and stop the conversion of
starch to sugar. The malt is then removed and
discarded (often ending up as animal feed).

The resulting solution is called wort. The wort is
then boiled to clarify it, and reduce the volume.
Hops are added at various stages. If they are
added near the beginning of the boil, they will
impart a bitter flavour, if added at the end, an
aromatic flavour. The reduced wort is called wort
extract. This is what is sold in those homebrew
cans in the supermarket.

Fermentation: This is the most crucial stage of
the beer making process, it determines the
ultimate flavour, clarity, alcohol content and
carbonation level. For such a crucial process,
the technique is relatively simple. Yeast and
water are added to the wort extract, upon which
the yeast turns the sugars in the wort into
alcohol and C02. The single greatest factor
influencing fermentation is the temperature.
Regardless of the yeast being used, a warm
ferment will produce a beer with ale
characteristics and a cold ferment will produce a
lager style beer. Fermentation is usually divided
into two steps, primary fermentation, in which
most of the sugars are converted, and secondary
fermentation, which uses up the rest. The
secondary fermentation sometimes takes place in
the cask or bottle in order to provide carbonation
(conditioning) under pressure.

Bottling/Casking: After fermentation, the beer is bottled, or put
into casks or kegs. Depending on the style, it may be ready to
drink now, or, particularly if a secondary bottle fermentation is
needed, it will be aged to develop carbonation
and character. Beer made in this fashion can
continue improving for several y[...]onditioned by adding
carbon dioxide directly into the bottle or keg.

That’s about it. Please remember that this is a
brief description of a process that takes people
lifetimes to perfect, and as such, I can’t cover
everything in a mere thousand words. However,
if you have questions about the brewing process,
or what is done to make a particular style of beer,
then feel free to email me beerboy@varsity.co.nz,
or alternatively, I recommend these books I found
at the public library:

Encylopedia of beer. Christine P Rhodes (ed) Henry Holt and
Company, Inc, 1995
The International book of beer. Barrie Pepper. Blitz editions, 1996

w°“"’“‘“HURRICANES[...]

What do you do[...]yes doc (bats
eyelids)

2. Babs Bunny

3. I dress in drag

4 Carrot cake, carrot juice, carrot
salad,[...]carrot rolls. . . . .

5. That’s between me and the other

rabbits doc.

Roger Rabbit

WPPP!‘

Blue[...]eah ok she’s underage so
we’d only go out for a cuppa tea but
give her 10 years, and oh boy . . .[...]n important date

Crumpets (and I wouldn’t mind a bit
of Alice’s too — don’t write that
down).

Fishing out my pocket watch from
the Queen of Heart’s throne, but she
didn’t see me and I g[...]her crumpet.

March Hare

18 Ellall

Yellow

Ooh the Mad Hatter. His hat is simply
marvellous! Why, who couldn’t fall
for a hat like that? You know what
they say, the bigger the hat . . .

I drink tea, buckets of tea, it’s
wonderful stuff hehehe

Angel cakes and raspberry jam on
unbirthdays, but after the weekend,
great big date muffins!

I wished my friend a happy
unbirthday, but it wasn’t! So I
wished him a Merry Birthday, but he
wasn’t called Mary! So I had to
crawl away and hide in a tea-pot.

Letters

The Chaff Letterbox is located at the top of the main stairs in the
student centre, just outside Cafe Tra Baci. You c[...]tor

BOVINOMORPHS

Dear Chaff

I’m concerned at the proliferation of
polymer—coated bovinomorphs in the
Vicinity of Chaff. Are these creatures being
exploited? Are they the product of illicit
GM? Are they secret extensions of the
Tangimoana spy base masquerading as
bovinomorph lumps?

Answers, please to. . . . .

Craig

WHERE ARE THE PROTESTS?

Dear Chaff Editor

Where have all the protests and
protestors gone? Have we, as student[...]t arrived at University I
expected to be involved in student protests,
as being part of a student. I imagined
having to turn down offers to be in a
protest as I already had 20 others to go to!

As students we are (well, we used
to be) thought of as the conscience of
society, its heart and its mind. There are
many issues currently in society that need
serious thinking about and consideration;
the advancement of science and technology
(genetic engineering, the causes of
pollution), the war on terrorism, and the
treatment of refugees, poverty (nationally
and internationally[...]tests every week
about these (and other) issues?

The recent celebration of student
debt drew little interest on campus and less
than none in society and the media. This is
one of many serious issues facing us, yet
little is being done about it. Why are we
not occupying the Registry, protesting in
Wellington, calling MPs and the government
to account?

Will we ever do anything[...]re I remember how to do
this . . . here goes:

To the makers of ‘From Hell’: 2
hours is not a tardis. You can not cram all
the content of that beautiful book into a
film, unless it’s the length of Brideshead
Revisited, say. And why does there seem to
not be a copy of Bowie’s ‘The Buddha of
Surburbia’ in existence. As a fan, it feels
like I’ve been walking around with a limp.

Oh, and last week (2 now) I was
down in the library’s stack room and
stumbled on Chaff from[...]cided to fund it.
Interesting and nice. There’s a ghost down
there as well methinks. I’m tired of this
now. I miss my friends. They are the best
of them.

Div
RE: PUBLIC ENEMY NO 01
Dear Chaff,

I would like to talk about the merits of things,
particularly alcohol and trees. Today I
encountered horrible posters stapled to
innocent trees on the concourse, posters
which succeeded in ruining the aesthetic and
atmospheric appeal for which those[...]allowed
to drink alcohol though... see Ijust read a
Christian column in Chaff (Issue 04, 18th
March) suggesting that alco[...].” Jesus Christ was
subsequently put forward as the superior
alternative. I would just like to point out
that people are all f***ed up, and they do
all sorts of f***ed up things all the time
like rape people, and maim and kill people
([...]er, who are public
enemy number one; not alcohol. The public
is its own worst enemy. Adults should be
a[...]alcohol, and if they
are stupid enough, to abuse the hell out of
it. Sound education should be utilized as
the preventative measure for all abuses.
IfI know the dangers of an action and wish
to do it anyway — then to prevent me from
doing so is to remove my freedom, and even
the Judeo—Christian God doesn’t resort to
that. Of course the legitimate concern is
active malicious harm caused to others by
an offender; but this is clearly a separate
issue and should be dealt with as such,[...]ban them from drinking instead).
But drinking as a problem issue? No,
people will always need to be sensually
gratified, whether it is the social lubricant
or the opiate of the masses — the key is
minimising collateral damage. And you
can’t get rid of the problem by banning Beer
or Jesus. Confucius said that man has 3
ways of acting wisely: firstly, on meditation,
this is the noblest; secondly on imitation,
this is the easiest; and thirdly on
experience, this is the bitterest. I can testify
to this truth. You see I know for a fact
that ifI hadn’t spent long hours vomiting[...]flesh clammy and twitching, my
gut churning like a maggot—filled carcass...
I would not be the man I am today — I might
be a slightly healthier man, but the point
is the error of my ways eventually showed
me the error of my ways. In fact I now
have a very healthy relationship with
alcohol — I respect it and it respects me.
All things inthe majority of
suffering, death, famine, disease,
mutilation and poverty in the world. I
would think that such a thing would be
public enemy number one. I would think
that the Government would ban
something that lead to widow[...]ctioning period. I would think that
this would be the one thing that the
members of society would run from.

Yet they don’t, they r[...]! Somehow societies fibre is moulded
by religion, the main cause of WAR! It
irks me somewhat to read such a morally
righteous generalisation on drinking but[...]eous is what religion
does well.

No, we can have a war in the
name of religion but drinking for fun and
enjoyment is a sin. The picture you paint
is a bit rich when the history of your own
organisation served to keep the public
ignorant and poor so they could be[...]

If you can’t enjoy beer with your
mates without thinking of the social
injustice you’re causing then take up a
religion and recount the wars it’s fought
and what their toll to society has been.
This may sound harsh and also be a large
generalisation but I think your column is
t[...]every negative aspect
that you can possibly think of.

You ask yourself “do people need
alcohol to initiate meaningful
friendships?” Well of course they don’t,
but today’s youth like yesterday’s youth
do not necessarily know how to fit in and
have not necessarily attained or mastered
the social skills needed to do so. Alcohol
is merely a social uninhibitor that helps
some socially unsure young adults fit in.
Who are you to claim the moral
highground?

The Holy Trinity
(Barley, Hops and Water)

Dear Barle[...]. Why? Alcohol, because it can
cause us to behave in ways beyond our
control that damage ourselves and others.
Religion, because the perceived spirituality
and power held by religiou[...]who are inclined to selfishness,
godlessness and a life that doesn’t include
responsibility. The only way we can
manage either alcohol or religion safely is
ifwe do it God’s way.

M UCF believes the Bible is the
inspired word of God; the Holy Spirit
confirms the truths of the Bible for us. We
can see how getting drunk is not[...]hat is consistent with God’s will, both
because of its effect on our body and its
negative influence on how we treat others.
But at the same time we can see how
religion, even Christianity, can be used for
selfish reasons.

M UCF is not a group that believes
in coercive religion, power trips or money—
making schemes. We are simply a bunch of
people who have experienced God’s reality
in our lives and it has changed us forever.
We will[...]ssey
University doing our best to live and
spread the awesome message of God’s
grace in his son Jesus Christ. We’re not
going to force anyone to do anything, we
know that God has given each one of us
the ability to choose to inquire after him or
not, the ability to make our own decisions.

I only urge you not to chuck our
“Christianity” in the same box as the
crusades and the wars in Ireland. We
simply love Jesus and have received a
glimpse of how much he loves you.

Allan Chesswas
Massey University Christian Fellowship

TO THE SCOOTER THIEF

Hello,

Would the stupid fucker who
stole my motor scooter some tim[...]ednesday 20 March, please
ring me on 021 1745599, the police on
357 9999, or at 355 4012 (in the evenings)
to arrange its return. Or if you simply[...]. But I sure hope
you are feeling pretty stupid.

The scooter in question is a grey
step—through Suzuki motor scooter,
registration is 92SXR, and was parked in
the motorcycle parking space near the
main bus stop around 1 1.15pm on
Tuesday 19 March, and was taken some
time between then and 2.00am the next
morning (while I was working in the PC
computer lab). If anyone has any info,
please ring me on the cell number above
and I’d be very grateful.

Th[...]o Chaff for
printing its recent article regarding the
Help Points. Because of the article, I knew
what they were for and where they were.

Thank you very much also to the
Chubb security guy who helped me out by
filing various reports/forms and to the
police who dealt with this matter at
2.00am on We[...]refusing rides from males. 1 agree entirely
with the statement that not all guys are
“bad”, but just take a squizz at the stats:
The greater proportion of murderers and
rapists are male, and the greater
proportion of victims of the same crimes
are females. I enjoy hitch—hiking, but I
only do it with a male companion. You
may be a perfectly nice and normal person
who would like some company on your
drive, but I can’t tell you from the nutter
who wants to kill me.

So don’t complain[...]rides from males,
because they’re just applying a bit of self—
preservation.

Annabel Smith

2002 Letter[...]and phone
number. You can sign your letters with a pseudonym but we
need the real info for legal reasons. This information wil[...]xist, homophobic crap. All this will earn you is

a fast trip to the rubbish bin.

5. Spelling may be corrected in letters received.

6. Letters under 300wds will have priority to be printed.

7. The Editor reserves the right to censor or abridge letters
received in which content may be deemed inappropriate, or

simply too long.

8. The Editor reserves the right not to publish letters. If this
happens feel free to come up to the Chaff office and discuss it.

9. The Editor reserves the right to offer people/organisations

named in letters immediate reply.

it

I l
Full Mechanica[...]ng. Brakes.

FULL VEHICLE SERVICING

When booking in a job at Pit Stop, mention this Ad
and go into the draw to Win a mystery prize.

The honest professionals at Pit Stop
have now opened a branch on campus
in the old Boiler house on Bourke Rd.

To receive the best service drop
into Pit Stop Massey.

Talk to[...]3500241 or Ext 7338

Every person on earth has a role to
play in saving our planet. Action
begins with a personal commitment
One person’s commitment is the first
step toward saving the planet for the
future generations, towards a living
planet. You really can make a difference.
We have achieved a great deal but
so much more needs to be done.
Please think about what you personally

can give to the earth. It’s your choice.

(04) 499 2930[...]

IIJI |'\' ALLEX FALJLUS

The Island of Lost Maps
Miles Harvey $29.95

A fascinating history of the world’s greatest I
map thief — and the precious world he stole

from.

Blue is the Colour of

Heaven

Richard Loseby $27.95

A New Zealand journalist’s account of how
he found unexpected allies and friends in
the land of his dreams — Afghanistan.

Billie’s Kiss
Elizabeth Knox $29.95
The word is out — this is a great read.

é? a
«I- 13...:

' ' "r‘ rs- -rl _

W" . 12%er 1r- ; Julia Llewlleyn Smith $26.95
""2“ 1' P. 'i U 9]: A witty travel book, the author visits the
MY fig U_N]_ ” _ countries that Graham Greene[...]Travels Without my Aunt

ex

-nn am we been: of Ian rear
.w mmr

After Bathing at Baxters

- Greg O’Brien $39.95
A quirky collection of essays and notes
about New Zealand poets and pain[...]mail: book paradisenetnz

Books

Harry Potter — The
Adult Cover Box
Set

J K Rowling

The intention of the Allen 81. Ulwin adult—
cover series of Harry Potter was to allow adults to
enjoy reading Harry Potter discreetly on trains, at
the office etc without being laughed at by their
colleagues for reading children’s books. The one
flaw with the ‘discreet’ adult covers is the big bold
lettering that reads HARRY POTTER. Not
particularly subtle...

As anyone who has picked up the first book Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s
Stone (otherwise known as Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone in the United States,
because they don’t seem to know what a philosopher is) can attest to, these books,
suppo[...]re strangely addictive. Now you know why children the world
over are screaming for the next Potter book for Christmas, instead of the latest toys.

You must give J K Rowling credit for the way she has convinced children to
start reading again by the millions. At the same time, she appears to be tricking the
children into reading more and more, and each book is double the size of the last.

Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone introduces Harry, the eleven year old
boy who lives with his loathesome[...]rsley. He grew
up believing that his parents died in a car crash. Never in his wildest dreams would he
believe that his parents were killed by a mighty sorcerer Voldemort (or you—know—who
for the not—so—brave), sacrificing themselves to save their infant son. Left orphaned,
and bearing a scar that resembled a bolt of lightening, Harry was left with the Dursleys
to grow up without any explanation.

One day a mysterious letter arrived by owl, inviting him to Hogwarts, school for
wizards and witches. The next thing you know, Harry is on his way to become a wizard
and J K Rowling is on her way to becoming a multi—millionaire.

Joined by his friends, Ron[...]s grades, losing popularity with his peers
during the book, only to rise again to be the hero of Hogwarts, whether he likes it or
not. However, the more interesting characters are found in the supporting cast of
teachers, groundskeepers, villains, ghosts and the mischievous Weasley twins.

The Harry Potter series appears quite black and white, good and evil, Gryffindor
and Slytherin battle it out on a daily basis. But as the Harry Potter series gains
momentum, it will be in[...]owling has up her sleeve.
Without explaining each of the books, I must say that each book improves on the last
(although my personal favourite is the third: Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban)
and you should persist, if only to see what the fuss is about. The box set would be an
excellent gift for any closet Potter fan.

'Ell.\|1 It _ a?

.33: 'mm .55"

Sapphira van Assema

One Door Away
From Heaven
Dean Koontz

I’ve been a fan of Dean Koontz for around
seven years now and have enjoyed many of his
earlier novels. In the past he has been well known
for creating distinctive thrillers littered with
elements of fantasy and science fiction. After
reading From The Corner Of His Eye (reviewed in last
week’s Chaff) I was interested to see what[...]en touches
on greater moral and spiritual themes, in this case
bioethicism — a belief system that advocates the
euthanasia of the disabled and frail.

Micky Bellsong is 28 and at a crossroads in
her life. Dogged with a history of wrong choices she is
trying to sort things out wh[...]fore her rapidly approaching tenth birthday. Then the
family packs up and leaves with Micky in hot pursuit.

This novel provides more proof of Koontz being a master juggler of interweaving
plotlines. Although the book revolves around Micky’s search for Leilani there are a
number of subplots. As the denouement nears all those involved are satisfactorily
drawn together. The characters in this book are some of his most colourful yet. It is
easy to feel compassion for Leilani’s plight.

Despite the inherent strengths there were a number of limitations. One would
be that it is needlessly wordy at times. Although Koontz excels at writing a good turn of
phrase it’s overlong and a lot could be cut out. The novel is nigh on 600 pages long
(paper back edition) which easily makes it one of his longest to date. I also found
Leilani to be s[...]ned Koontz readers may be interested to know that The Book of Counted
Sorrows (a collection of poetry the writer has used in his novels) is now available online
as an e—book, with the hard—copy version apparently in the works.

Like his previous works One Door Away From Heaven is an excellent example
of the cross—genre thriller. Despite its drawbacks it is still a worthwhile and enjoyable
read.

'lol in“ MM ol
all! Mill”

KUUNTZ

CINE: DOOR
AWAY FROM

HEAVEN

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IIIE NH“ INIEHNIIIUIII BE[...]

BLUE F[...]ublev directed by Andrei
Tarkovsky often features in critics’ lists of cinema
masterpieces. At just over three hours it certainly
provides a challenge to the average filmgoer. Those
who devour the peculiarities of Russian cinema will
barely be able to contain themselves at the thought '_.i-
of 185 minutes of Tarkovsky on the big screen.

The film follows the life of the title figure, a fifteenth century monk and icon
painter, through a period of tartar invasions, religious cruelty and internal dissension
between three parties: the Russian State, the Orthodox Church and the common people.

The film is broken up into eight episodes dating from 1400 to 1423 with a
prologue and epilogue. It begins with Rublev leaving the Trinity monastery to search for
work in Moscow and concludes with him returning to the monastery to paint his famous
Holy Trinity.

As with any of Tarkovsky’s films, images are all important, snow falls in a
ransacked church, a displaced horse walks on by, a young woman plaits the hair of
another who is dead among the massacred and rivers flow and engulf. According to
Tarkovsky “water conveys depth, a sense of transformation and reflection”. Now you can
spot the various water images and feel knowledgeable.

Very little is known about Rublev the icon—painter beyond his works (which
hardly feature in the film). Tarkovsky and his collaborator Mikhalkov—Konchalosky used
the opportunity of the artist’s 600th anniversary to show the relationship between an
individual and his faith and the evolution of a national identity for Russia in the early
fifteenth century. There are also elements of Tarkovsky’s own struggle as an artist in
Russia. The film was banned in Russia for five years from when it was first released.

There is only one screening of this three hour masterpiece at 5.30 at Downtown
Cinema 8. Film Society membership is available before the screening.

right on your way into/back[...]pretty colours
moving Dltg

» and links to heaps of fantasmic
places on the web.

Ace Combat
4

The 4th instalment of
Namco’s combat flight sim marks the
series, transition to the PS2 in style.
You play a pilot in the Independent
State Allied Forces (ISAF) seeking to
avenge the death of his family who
were killed by a mysterious pilot
called CEyellow 13, (yes, original).

Despite the rather cliched
plot, the game is as visually realistic
as it gets. Taking full advantage of
the PS2’s superior graphics, Ace Combat 4 produces stunning visuals, from the trippy
opening sequence with seagulls (which is almost John Woo style, except with planes), to
the multitude of fighters available for purchase. In fact, buying a plane with the credits
you’ve earned from missions is like shopping in a US. Airforce hanger, and you even get
to inspect the bombs you’re going to drop on your hapless enemies.

The in—game sound adds to the brilliant visual effects. Much of the mission BGM
is basically epic flying music (with, of all things, a hint of Phantom of the Opera), but it
is the radio communication that gives intensity to the action. The fear in your enemy’s
voice when he can’t shake you; the panicked reports of your wingmen on incoming
missiles; the ID4 flashbacks you get when you utter “Mobius 1, Fox Two!” just before
sending a missile up your enemy’s fuselage; it all captures the intensity of real hardcore
dogfights.

The controls, on the other hand, take some getting used to if you’ve never played
a flight sim before. Turning can be hard to start with, especially since the analogue
controls are quite sensitive and the clunky tutorial mode doesn’t allow enough practice
time.

During a frantic air battle you can often find yourself firing a missile upside—
down, only managing to pull up at the last second. All I can say is you’ll be thanking
your sweet afterburners for guided missiles! On the upside, Namco has allowed you to
attempt your own landings, though these are more of a quirk then an actual piece of
challenging play.

Overall, Ace Combat 4 is an ey[...]times pulse—pounding flight, which is
probably the best flight sim of PS2 at present. It’s well worth a buy for any of you Top
Gunners out there, and even if you’re not a fan of flight sims at least have a look at this
one. You might just get hooke[...]

The basic storyline revolves around Jack
Bauer (Kiefer Sutherland) the head of an elite team
of CIA agents who uncover an assassination plot
targ[...], David Palmer
(Dennis Haysbert), who looks to be in line to become
the first Black American president. Unfortunately
there appears to be a leak within the agency leaving
Jack with few people he knows he can trust, which
is further complicated by the disappearance of his
troubled teenage daughter and increasing evidence
suggesting that this disappearance and the
assassination plot are somehow linked. As the story
unfolds, twists in the plot emerge, leaving Jack
increasingly uncertain[...]s and is not on his
side, as it soon appears that a higher force could be
at work against him.

Having missed the first episode, I found
myself unable to really get into the series as each
episode is vital to the storyline. It wasn’t until
recently, through the use of downloaded episodes off
the internet did I truly become interested, and
consequently addicted to the series. Each episode is
fast paced, and vital to the unfolding plot, with
enough twists and full on intensity to keep the
audience’s attention. This intensity however is
somewhat lessened by the fact that the average
viewer has to wait a week between each episode,
which for a series that unfolds over real time, is far
too long to wait on the edge of your seat.

24 is a definite must see series, however, if at
this stage you haven’t already been keeping up to
date with the episodes it may be difficult to really get
into.[...]access to get you up to speed, otherwise
wait for a repeat screening of the series, while
avoiding those who have been watchi[...]e 356 1924

Nurse Betty

This probably isn’t the movie you think it is. One
of my flatmates was horrified to discover what she thought
would be a happy comedy—romance was in fact a twisted
psychological black comedy. Another was delighted that
what he’d assumed was a ‘chick—flick‘, had a scalping scene
and Morgan Freeman threatening people with a gun. It’s a
great movie to confuse the people you live with.

Renee Zellweger plays the Betty of the title, a
small town fry cook / house wife whose entire life revolves
around the soap opera — ‘ A Reason to Live’. When she
witnesses the brutal murder (very brutal, don’t let the kids
watch) of her low—life husband something inside her head
snaps. Betty experiences a mental break down, and heads
off to LA, now believing that she is a character from ‘A
Reason to Live’, determined to resolve issues with her ex—
fiancee, the fictional Dr. David Ravell (Greg Kinnear). To
complicate things Charlie (Freeman) and Wesley (Rock), the
men who killed Betty’s husband, have found out[...]y them, and pursue her cross—country to finish
the job. Betty’s madness isn’t your standard Hollywood
psychosis, it is a creepy stubborn detachment from reality
which confuses and upsets theof the entire world, and Nurse
Betty becomes a well—rounded journey to the local asylum.

Don’t be scared away though. Despite the
unsettling undercurrent, Nurse Betty is not a difficult
movie. It is, at least in part, a comedy. There aren’t many
belly laughs to be had, but the movie abounds in cynical
chuckles and nervous laughter. In its own way Betty is a
feel—good movie, the heroine is the personification of
innocence who manages to hold her own against a savage
inhospitable world. Ignoring that the innocence is the
product of a complete detachment from society and the
trauma that descends on anyone who crosses her pa[...]htly. This
character is almost automatic for her, the main thing
distancing it from other roles she’s played is the world
around her, which is more a function of scripting than
acting. Freeman plays himself, a tired old professional at

The Animal

E

Directed by Luke Greenfield.
Starring[...]el Caton,
John C. Mcginley and Ed Asner.

Carving a niche as an innocent loser with bad luck
in Deuce Bigalow, Rob Schneider returns to his favourite
character type in this hilarious comedy that tells the story
of a would be cop whose life is saved by a soon—to—be Nobel
Laureate. Sound hard to believe? Most definitely, so make
sure you’re in a light—hearted mood if you decide to watch
this or you’ll most probably pick it apart with a fork.

Like Deuce Bigalow, The Animal is filled with
unrealistic scenarios that are funny in a spoof—like way. An
old geriatric running with dumbbells and a black guy, I
know it may sound a bit racist but you have to see the
movie to understand where he’s coming from. These are
two instances to name just a few that you wouldn’t see in
any other movie.

Schneider plays Marvin, the son of a well decorated
but deceased law enforcement officer. Yes, you guessed it,
he wants the same kudos and the movie starts off showing
Marvin’s attempt to jump his final hurdle, the physical
fitness exam. This is where the hilarity starts. The writers
of The Animal deserve a big thumbs up for the originality of
some of their ideas.

Colleen Haskell of American Survivor fame plays a
tree hugger (literally) who’s charmed by Marvin in a series
of animal like meetings. Don’t worry it was completely lost
on me too but The Animal is one of those movies where the
last five minutes either make it or break it. Whether or not
you can sit through the first 80 odd minutes I think
depends on whether or not you’re a Schneider fan. He
comes across as the like him or loathe him type so if you
didn’t like any of his previous work I wouldn’t recommend
this.

M[...]an Freeman, Renee Zellweger and Chris Rock

the end of a glorious career. He is the subtle star of the
movie, conveying at once a cold—blooded hitman and a
gentle protector, and making both aspects seem real and
reconcilable. Rock is perhaps the most shocking. Taking
a step away from his previous comic roles, he does a
wonderful job being an asshole. Wesley is an angr[...]arning his father Charlie’s
business. No longer a good natured wise guy he is one of
the most dislikable bad guys portrayed on the screen for
a long time. The banter between Wesley and Charlie is a
manipulation of all the old buddy—cop movies as new and
old quarrel, creating perhaps the funniest moments of
the movie.

Nurse Betty is not your standard comedy. But it is
a comedy of sorts, and if you’re after something slightly
different it’s a unique treatment of familiar ground.

Nick Holm

1.11 Gran-mil[...]

AL
y/IINCORPDRATINR
RIALTO CINEMA

A Beautiful Mind

E

Director Ron Howard
Starring R[...]feelings about this film after seeing
it, it was a brilliant performance by Russell Crowe, and in
some ways he salvaged the film. One thing is for sure
though; this movie did make me think.

The film is based on the life of John Nash, and
starts when he is at Princeton University in the 1950s,
trying to formulate a distinguishing thesis and not a copy
of other mathematical theories. He finds it and
subsequently becomes the father of modern economics
(much to the horror of countless numbers of fifth form
students around the world). He suffers a major decline in
his mental health and we are shown some of the delightful
ways in which a schizophrenic was “treated” back in the
60s and 70s, it then chronicles his recovery and,[...]r his illness took full effect, him being
awarded a Nobel prize.

Russell Crowe delivers a marvellous performance
(five stars). It is quite a transformation from the big,
macho, Speights—imbibing Gladiator to the befuddled,
geeky, and muttering figure that John[...]would hate to see how John Nash would go against the
pugilistic combatants in the ring; likewise Maximus, I’m
sure, would have struggled with the frailest equation. But
apart from comparisons, it is quite easy to forget that
Russell Crowe is playing the part, he does it so well. By
the time you read this, if old Russ doesn’t have another
gold figure on his mantelpiece, someone has done him a
great disservice (or there has been some heavy politics
involved).

I was quite amazed by the silence in the film (this
author had to contort his fingers into various positions in
order to get some potato chips out without the annoying
rustling; consequently after the movie finished I had a
mostly full packet of chips), and, recalling media studies
papers, realised that the silence helped with the thinking
process.

Where the film falls down though, is after he has
recovered; it sort of meanders along to the Nobel Prize awards
not really adding to the plot. After watching the movie, I
found out some interesting facts that were omitted in typical

Spy Game

con ains vuo ence an
offensive[...]illane, Larry Bryggman

“It is not how you play the game, it’s how the game plays
you.”

The day before veteran CIA spy master Nathan
Muir’s[...]rad
Pitt), Muir’s protege, has been captured by the Chinese
government. Bishop was arrested for espionage and was
imprisoned in a Chinese prison and will be executed in 24
hours. Muir was asked to co—operate to give the CIA any
information he knows about Bishop, and so we are told
about the training of Bishop. The agency declared Bishop
as a rogue spy and was left to the hands of the
communists in China, Muir knew if Bishop is to come out
alive, it’s all in his own hands. During the flash back of
the recruitment and the training of Bishop, we see how
the trust and respect develop between the two men, and
how Elizabeth, a woman whom Bishop met in one of the
operations, (Catherine McCormack) came and put th[...]sk.

I personally think that Redford and Pitt was a
great combination. Both their acting was superb a[...]I personally think that he’s
experienced and is a veteran in acting. His character
suited him perfectly and Pitt seemed to be a clone of him.
Of course, everyone loves Brad Pitt, it’s Brad Pit[...]ruciating to see Brad Pitt all beaten up
though!

The soundtrack is great, it matched the scenes
flawlessly and it wasn’t over the top at all. The
atmosphere created by the music was incredible, part of
the credits must go to those who contributed to the
composing, editing, and the performance of the music.

Let’s get one thing straight, this is a Hollywood
movie after all, so of course the plot is predictable.
Redford was always a mile ahead of his co—workers in
figuring out what to do, and what’s happening, he’s just

Hollywood style to make the actual man, John Nash, seem
like a total good guy; he had a little liaison in the 60s that led
to a child for which he refused to pay child support, he was
arrested for propositioning a male police officer in a public
toilet, and he and his wife were divorced but she continued
to look after him.

A cross between Good Will Hunting, Fight Club and
The Sixth Sense, 1 would recommend going to see this film,
ifjust to see 01’ Russ giving a class performance.

Benjamin Sutherland

too powerful to be true. It’s always like that in ‘H’ Movies,
when you have one guy that stands out of the crowd — the
all—knowing, all—powerful hero. Too predictable. But the
action was good. It was bloody at times, but good. That’s
what we go to the cinema for, right?

Karen Chan

NOW SHOWING:

A BEAUTIFUL MIND (M)
THE ONE (M)

QUEEN OF THE DAMNED (M)
THE MAN WHO SUED GOD (M)
THE SHIPPING NEWS (M)
ICE AGE (G)

THE LORD OF THE RINGS: THE
FELLOWSHIP OF THE RING (PG)
ENIGMA (M)

KATE & LEOPOLD (PG)

ALI (M[...]OYS
JOE SOMEBODY
GOSFORD PARK
SCORPION KING
COUNT OF MONTE CRISTO
THE PANIC ROOM
BLADE 2

Want to win a double pass to the movies? Five
people drawn at random from those who correctly
identify the film pictured below, will win. Drop your
entry in the Chaff Mailbox, or email it to:
chaff.ed@musa.org.nz. Be sure to type
MOVIECOMP in the subject box,
or we might miss you out!

answer[...]E per person, per week! And YES. We
do go through the names after we’ve drawn the
winners to make sure they don’t appear twice.[...]ke Harris
Natalie Smith
Bede Clark

Come on up to the Chaff Office to collect your prize!

desert island - what
would be YOUR essential

so[...]d and Fire
09. World Mix - Deep Forest
08. Living in the Present Future
- Eagle Eye Cherry
07. Mama Said
-[...]mething to Live For
- Ella Fitzgerald
05. Tea for the Tillerman - Cat Stevens
04. Anthology - Temptatio[...]Marley
02. ABC - Jackson Five
01. Listen - Herbs

The Motown years turned out some of
my favourite music. It was a time when African
American music was really taking off, and I like
the themes of liberation and freedom that come
through in their sound - especially the passion.
I would especially have listed RESPECT - the
essential soundtrack to the soul generation,
which features Aretha Franklin, James Brown
etc. But I’m not allowed compilations in my list
huh? So I narrowed the field, added some
contemporaries, and this is what I’ve got.

Jazz, reggae, and r&b are some of my
favourite genres, and no one does it better than
the people in some of the discs I’ve chosen
above. Herbs has to sit at number one. I’m
Ngati Porou, and hearing the sounds of the bros
takes me back to the coast (my
turangawaewae) every time. IfI was stuck on
a desert island, I’d like to feel as close to home
as I could.

Essential Track:

Sensative to a Smile - Herbs

Watching Angels
Mend - Alex Lloyd

Not since my discovery of David Gray last year
have I found a CD more rewarding, which is interesting as
they r[...]who enjoy good old
Dave. This is definitely one of those CDs that gets better
the more you listen to it.

This is the Australian Lloyd’s second offering
after Black the Sun in 1999, and is sure to be well
received around the world. Watching Angels Mend, (2001)
was recorded during a five month stint in London and
involved loads of high profile musicians thanks to the
producer Magnus Fiennes’ (yep the brother of Ralph and
Joseph) reputation.

When I first liste[...]bum I got this
definite Beach Boys vibe from some of the songs, my
flatmate disagreed profusely but I was redeemed when I
discovered that Lloyd went for a Beach Boys/Phil Spector
inspired interlude in one of his songs Lost in the Rain,
which happens to be one of my favourites. It’s not that
Alex Lloyd has a high—pitched voice like Brian Wilson but
it’s the superb craftsmanship of the songs, because in my
opinion Green also reminds me of the Beach Boys, with
supreme mastery of the guitar and bass. In fact Pink
Floyd’s bassist Guy Pratt features prominently on this
track.

An obvious winner on the album is the already
released Amazing, which has soaring choruses and an
awesome string arrangement. A truly glorious pop song,
which is enhanced by Lloyd’s vocal prowess.

The first track off the album is the upbeat, cool
number Everybody ’s Laughing which again features
amazing choruses and has the additional vocals of
Powderfinger’s Bernard Fanning and drum loops b[...]er features Black Grapes percussionist as
well as the bass of Guy Pratt. This song starts off quite
low—key with lots of sound effects coming through but
then accelerates with the addition of a distinctive guitar
hook.

Another excellent song[...]er Clive Beamer, Guy Pratt
once again on bass and the renowned pedal steel player
BJ Cole, who has worked with the likes of REM and Beck.

This album is a definite investment and if you
are one of those people who begin to like CDs you buy
more w[...]should buy it, everybody knows that
those CDs are the best. An absolutely top—notch album,
all the songs are well crafted and worth a listen.

Kelly Owens

Nine Inch Nails
— And[...]een — Live

Live albums are often levelled with the criticism
that that they are little more than stop—gap releases, an
excuse to get new product on the shelves while the artist
noodles in the studio; or maybe a “greatest hits — live” type
package.

Nine[...]l That Could
Have Been refuses to fit into either of these categories. A
multi—media release, with material culled from the North
American Fragility v.2.0 tour in 2000 And All That Could
Have Been has three formats (DVD, CD, VHS), all with
different track—listings (the cynical could say that this is so
the completist will buy all three versions). Since 1997’s
closure video is the only other live release from Nine Inch
Nails, And All That Could Have Been maybe the closest
some get to seeing NIN perform live.

Terrible Lie kicks the album off, and it is an
incredibly powerful opene[...]r and company are
an explosive ensemble, allowing a song over ten years old
to not date one iota; it[...]. Sin, also from Pretty Hate Machine, follows up,
the live drums and synthesisers melding together very[...]ugh 1992’s Broken EP and 1994’s
breakthrough, The Downward Spiral, to 1999’s The Fragile,
from which more tracks feature. Trent Reznor has selected
a somewhat eclectic mix of tracks; all the hits are there
(Closer, Head Like A Hole, Hurt, Starfuckeranc), alongside
slightly more obscure tracks (The Mark Has Been Made,
Suck). The extremely tight band paradoxically make the
heavily processed album tracks sound much looser and
rougher around the edges in concert. That said, there are
occasions where it sounds as if the band are simply playing
along to a DAT machine, particularly on the more recent
tracks, The Great Below and The Wretched.

The performances that stand out are The Day The World
Went Away, which is extended into an intense jam. March
Of The Pigs benefits from an added coda.

Head Like A Hole, like Terrible Lie, features in
samples and retains its vibrancy as one of those great
‘giving the world the finger”— songs (“I’d rather die than give
you control.”) An excellent version of Hurt closes the
album, in typical NIN fashion.

And All That Could Have Been demonstrates that
Nine Inch Nails are still a force to be reckoned with
musically, but on the whole, live albums tend to make
more sense when accompanied by visuals, so I would
recommend the DVD over the CD. However, the CD is still
excellent as an audio document of NIN in concert.

Michael Harvey.

By Steve Asplin 81. Emma Tyler

The digital era has revolutionised the way that
music is made and has also changed the way that music
is distributed. Music can be acquired easily on the
Internet and the advent of CD copying technology has
made it possible for people to attain multiple copies of
artist’s work without their permission. When music is
copied illegally the recording artist receives no financial
recompense for their intellectual property.
Understandably the music industry is opposed to illegal
‘CD burnin[...]and is taking steps to protect their
interests.

The RIANZ (Recording Industry Association of New
Zealand) who represent record producers, dist[...]s launched its ‘Burn and Get Burned’
campaign in November 2001. As RIANZ president Michael
Glading[...]e stealing or shoplifting from everyone
who works in the music industry’.

‘Burn and Get Burned’ is a campaign slogan
that means what it says. If you burn illegal copies of
music then you can be fined up to $10,000 a CD.

The latest publicised case of CD piracy occurred
in South Auckland where two men are believed to have[...]ly copied CDs at
weekend markets. They approached the RIANZ after
learning they were under investigation.

So what does it mean to Joe on the street? The
price difference between a blank CD and a store bought
new release is substantial. The moral dilemma is
tempered by self—interest for those who burn CD copies
because the threat of being caught is minimal and the
cost of a blank CD can be as cheap as $1 each.

Recording artists are right behind the ‘Burn and
Get Burned’ campaign, but principally it is the more
recognised performers. The internet has made it possible
for independent groups to market their music to the
world and CD burning has made it possible for them to
be heard all over the world. Independent artists are less

vocal about[...]an
avenue for them to get their music out around the world.

Who makes money off CD burning? The only real
beneficiary is the blank CD producers and their
subsidiaries. So why doesn’t the RIANZ charge a levy on
every blank CD sold? RIANZ say that they are giving people
the benefit of the doubt who are purchasing blank CDs,
but regulation and levies would prove so time consuming
that the real answer is that they can’t find a way to
regulate that is fair for all those involved. They can’t be
sure that the levy would be distributed to the artists whose
music is getting ripped off.

If you’re going to illegally copy CDs then know that
the recording artists do not receive any monetary
rec[...]s stealing and therefore

_ smdem ID #

CHAFF has a faaaaantastic TUI Prize pack to give away. - That's it on the right (see?)
To be in to win, all you need to do is come up with a "Yeah Right" slogan in the spaces
above, and fill in your details. The best one walks away with the goods - it's that simple.
Drop your entries into the CHAFF mailbox by Weds 24th April 2002.

Judges decision will be final.

you can be prosecuted. The RIANZ policy is to prosecute
all those people found with illegal copies of music and
although it seems a cheap option it could end up costing
you $10,000 if you are caught.

Steve 81. Duncan’s Opinion : The RIANZ need to formulate
a better solution than fining people whose crime is made
all the more appealing by cheap blank CD prices and the
availability of music through the internet. Record
companies need to adapt with the times and address the
changing mediums of music, rather than dictating terms
to the public.

El

Yes, that’s right, “Who”! Oh ho ho ho ho ho. What a
hilarious name I do have. You can make a whole series of
hilarious jokes out of it, so long as the humour rests on
the clever punning of “Who” the name with

“who” the pronoun. For instance, one time, me and one
of my intelligent, insightful and semi—naked young[...]s when
suddenly, an ambush! We were surrounded by a group of
strange insect mutant zombie robots (the
Insectozombots). With a terrible grating rasp, their leader
opened his be[...]ed (again).

Dear Doctor,

I’ve been working at the local theatre as a Stage
Manager. This is usually great fun; sweeping,
cleaning, scrubbing, hurting myself on sharp props;
all of the things that make life worth living. But our
current production features a certain amount
of’“discardment”, if you get my meaning... This,
being a tolerant and enlightened gent, doesn’t bother
me. What concerns me is that part of my job involves
“genital enhancement”: I’m in charge of the G-string
sock-stuffing. Surely this is misleading the viewing
audience? I don’t know if I can go on.[...]Dear Doctor Who,

My best friend has recently won a local talent show
and has become athe
very least, my friend. If I should ever see you a[...]How long have you been shopping here?
Did you see the grapes are on sale? I’m a little light,

1. Strip to your underwear and have a fish—fight with your
flatmates.

2. Wait until midnight then start chanting in Latin.

3. Dig a really really big hole, and when they ask you
wha[...]smile mysteriously.

4. Mow esoteric symbols into the grass and claim they
just “appeared” overnigh[...]and really really still until they think you’re a statue,
then move ever so slightly every time they look away.

7. Pretend that you’re preparing to hold a sacrificial
bloodletting ceremony.

8. Then invite your neighbours.

9. Provide a running commentary every time your
neighbours are[...]t their washing.

10. Then award them with “Man of the Match” and”“Most
Improved Player” awards.

1 1. Signal to them in Morse Code with torches.

12. Play Naked Twister.[...]r back porch and recite rude limericks.
14. Stand in the middle of your backyard and pretend
you’re a tree.

15. Paint letters on yourself and all your[...]for when your neighbours get
home.

16. Decorate the back yard with cow skulls and red crepe
paper.

17. Construct a huge sculpture made out of mashed
potatoes.

18. Build a replica of the Eiffel Tower out of toothpicks.
19. Climb a tree and using a pair ofa five? But for now I’ll simply say,
goodbyeeeee. How do I save the friendship?

Love,

Fully Rested and Barrel Chest[...]octor,

Why won’t you die?
Love,

Davros.

P.S. The Black Dalek says to say,
“Exterminate”.

I have died, Davros, at least seven times, so just get a life,
all right? You big green git munch.

And now, it’s “time” for me to go, so let’s start up the
Tardis and go...VWOOORP... VWOOORP.... VWOOORP...

Okay, so that wasn’t the TARDIS, just me
saying’“VWOORP, VWOOORP”. Still, you’ve got to have a
hobby. Goodbye, and till next time, just remember[...]is who I
are. Am. Oh, piss off.

50 Things to do in
your back-yard, to
freak the
neighbours out.

20. Play all your records backwards, loudly.

21. Instead of mowing the lawn, snip each blade of grass
separately with nail scissors.

22. Or use a vacuum cleaner.

23. Hold snail races and invite your neighbours to make a
bet.

24. Get a truckload of sand delivered to your backyard and
pretend you’re at the beach.

25. Instead ofa guard dog, get a guard pig.

26. Or put a collar and leash on your flatmate and walk
him/her round the yard every day.

27. Pretend you are divining for water.

28. Or when it rains, pan for gold in the puddles.

29. If you’ve only got concrete or gravel as your backyard,
use a lawn mower to get rid of the weeds.

30. Use your rotary clothesline like a merry—go—round, then
charge all the neighbourhood kids 50 cents for a go.

31. Cover the ground with all the mattresses, pillows and
duvets you can find, then have a ‘jumping’ competition off
the porch.

32. And give all the jumps fancy names, and extra points
for ingenuity[...]er to create your own swimming pool.

34. Talk to the moon.

35. At your next barbecue, exclaim loudly[...]st like pork”.

36. Pretend you are stranded on a desert island and signal
frantically to your neig[...]e their
house.

37. Pretend that you’re filming a porn movie.

38. Roast an entire pig over a spit.

39. Play spoon hockey (it’s hockey, but using tablespoons
instead of hockey sticks).

Our weekly list of things that pull our ropes!

1. Mushrooms on Meatlovers pizza.
It’s for lovers of meat. Not
mushrooms.

2. Telecom ringing Vodafone[...]itch to 027. Piss off. Surely
this is an invasion of privacy.

3. Dog owners that don’t keep their
dogs fenced in. I’m not bitter at
the dog that bit me the other day.
It’s the owners that I’m pissed off
with.

4. The word ‘awesome’ in a religious

'1 context.

5. Wankers who dump their rubbish
in the Chaff letterbox when the
rubbish bin is one metre away.
You know who you are.

Media sensationalism.

When the computer crashes and

takes the 50 list with it — damn

you Apple Mac! I need an old

priest and a young priest . . . . .

Being dumped — that suc[...]s and especially

EXAMS. Take some goddam

Codral a-hole!

10. Cleaning the car, and having
someone else’s bloody cat leave
its dirty muddy prints all over the
once shiny bonnet. Grrrrrr!

NF”

509°

40. Make lawn sculptures out of watermelons.

41. And put price tags on them.

42. Paint everything in your backyard black (including
the trees.)

43. Make your lawn into a giant replica of a Monopoly
board.

44. Then play Monopoly on it.

45. Tell your neighbours you have fairies at the bottom of
your garden, then get your rugby playing flatmate to
dress up in a tutu and fairy wings and emerge waving his
magic wand.

46. Hold a rave and turn the outside light on and off
really fast to pretend like you have a strobe light.

47. Dress up like an Army General and quickmarch all
the way round the yard at the same time every night.

48. Buy a kitten, name it Satan. Call it loudly every night
at dinnertime.

49. Take baths outside.

50. Make a beer can pyramid...and live in it.

You are far too trusting and innocent. Be wary
of people trying to exploit you this week. For a
surefire way to avoid being taken advantage
of, send $100 in unmarked bills to Mistress Z,
c/o Chaff.

Lucky Proverb: Everyone is nice till the cow
gets into the garden.

taurus

You are what you eat. That pork[...]ings come to those
who wait.

You will spend much of this week in a waking
dream brought on by too many late nights.
Don’t let minor hallucinations of giant lizards
in clown suits bother you too much. It’ll
probably[...]te, who will
not appreciate being threatened with a half
full milk bottle you mistake for a pair of
nunchuckas.

Lucky Proverb: A nickel will get you on the
subway, but garlic will get you a seat.

cancer

Unexplained absences will irritate the shit out
of you. Well, at least now you don’t have to see
a doctor about the little “problem” you’ve been
having.

Lucky Proverb: The best horse doesn’t always
win the race.

The discovery of a severed hand in your bed
will disturb you momentarily, until your
flatmate reminds you of how it got there. Don’t
forget to do your break[...]Try and avoid being drawn into discussions
over the one true meaning of the word
“jacksie”. You’ll only be asked to prove it.
Lucky Proverb: The fox never found a better
messenger than himself.

Social S[...]on your
team-building skills, but social sport is a
great way to relieve stress. I would like
to take[...]ogise to
anyone that has played against us on
one of my bad days. I’m sorry, I’m sure
some ice on it will help the swelling go
down, and as for the bruises, well, I’m
really sorry about that too.[...]x60

Iibra

Your fan club is amassing a tidy little fund
to be put to a good cause. Quick, while it’s
quiet, book that[...]y they’ll never find you, but...
Lucky Proverb: A dog with two homes is
never any good.

scorpio

The true value of ten sided dice will be made
apparent to you when you are forced to
listen to a random stranger drone on about
the relative merits and limitations of the film
adaptation of Lord of the Rings. You will
never aim truer.

Lucky Proverb:[...]shonors himself.

sagittarius

Painting your room the colour of blu—tack
may seem appealing, but you are
overlooking one simple thing — why not just
cover the walls in strips of blu—tack? The
benefits are endless, as you shall discover.
Lucky Proverb: A happy heart is better than
a full purse.

capricorn

Facial hair brings exuberance, exuberance
brings courage, courage gets you a black eye
and banned for a week. Stick to orange juice
and invest in a razor.

Lucky Proverb: The tallest blade of grass is
the first to be cut by the scythe.

Feeling a little too popular? Need some “me”
time? For entertainment, dress up a broom
handle and draw a face on a paper bag and
stick it on the end. Call it Madame Toucan.
Talk to her. Refuse t[...]You will remember why you gave up
gambling during a particularly horrific game
of Strip Poker where you reveal something
about your[...]ou is what your friend
reveals...

Lucky Proverb: The teeth are smiling, but is
the heart?

Hot Chocolate

This cold snap has some of us retreating
into flannelette pyjamas and almost[...]ew where our hotties had
been packed away. It’s a good time to
start making hot chocolates, with
cinnamon, at home before crawling into
bed.

05 The Flat Meeting.

The flatties were gathered in the living room, taking the
opportunity to discuss moving, while Reya was away.
Hunter had found a place with room for them all, it was
nicer, cheap[...]“Let’s face it,” Deacon said. “Reya owns the place now.
No mortgage nothing. It’s hers, so u[...]hink she’s gonna
be an issue.”

“How big is thethe basement into athe place.
She knows it all.”

“Hmmmm.”

“I’m in,” Flynt said. “As long as I don’t have to share a
room with Mr Ultra Clean anymore!”

“Oh pleas[...]“Sorry for not leaving my
underwear hanging on the drawer handles.”

“You are kinda anal sometim[...]can we focus please?” Hunter said, establishing a
new calm to the room. “We have to make a decision
before you know who bounds back in again with her
shopping bags.”

“And her whin[...]”

“I think she smells good aye, Flynt said.

The room went silent as everyone glared.

“She is a[...]eepishly.

“I can’t believe we advertised for a flatmate at the start of
the year, then little Miss Priss invites herself to move in,
and WE’RE the ones flying the coop,” Shady said
somewhat bewildered. A determined Jasine slapped her
wooden spoon down on the table.

“I’m in,” She said,

“Me too,” said the fridge gnome, folding his arms
emphatically.

“What about the rest of you?” Hunter said. “This is your
opportunity.[...]’re coming with you.”

And so it was decided. The Chaffies were going to move.
Leaving behind 21 Ch[...]heir annoying
flatmate Reya. It was also decided the fridge gnome
would be the one to break it to her.

“No problem.” He said. “I’m not a softie like the rest of
you, ya bunch a fuckers.” He laughed, adjusted his
point[...]

DEVELOPMENT

DIVISION

DRIFT

DRIV[...]16 Sporting groups? (6)1 15 Noose (4)
18 Pauline A, EastEnders character 16 Low. woody plant (5)
(6)[...]Noon nibble! (5) 23 — Fitzgerald, 'first lady' of jazz (4}
28 Longed (tor) (7) 25 Archaic (3[...]

ONE WAY TICKET TO DUNEDIN

I have a one way ticket to Dunedin
leaving Pnth 30th March, this would
be for a female as this is under my
name Ms Easther. I can[...]o for
$100.

MANAWATU GRADUATE WOMEN’S
NETWORK

The Manawatu Graduate Women’s
Network is meeting again this year,
typically on the last friday of the
month, however, due to Good Friday,
our first meeting will be held on
Thursday 28th March. The venue is
Cafe Cuba (corner of George and
Cuba St) at 5:30pm. MGWnetwork is
an informal group of women
postgrads, inclusive of Honours,
Masters and PhD students, which
meets socially on the last friday of
the month to network with other
women in the Manawatu region. If
you are unsure about recognis[...]Phone
Helen 357 5332 for details or email
peek—a—boo@clear.net.nz.

STUDENT LEARNING CENTRE
Wedn[...]when, where,
how and why.

All workshops are held in Annexe B
at the SLC (Old Hostel Building)
Workshops commence agai[...]ntments continue
throughout mid—semester break.
The Speed Reading computer course
will be available t[...]Ph: 06 354 8155 Kalli?
Fax: 06 354 6412
.Warrent of Fitness
.Vehicle Llcencmg
.Road User Charges

Cut[...]Purchase
Inspections
.Vehicle ID Numbers
.Change of Owner
.Registration

Hours of Operation:
Monday - Friday 7:30am - 5pm
Saturday 9am -12noon

Colouring

SCHOOL OFin Print and Book
Culture, The Printer, Wai—te—ata
Press, Victoria University)

Painting the Town Red: Street
Graffiti and Typographical Terro[...]ginia Tech, USA)

Pakeha Maori and White
Indians: A Comparison
May 2 JOHN CRAWFORD,(Defence
Force His[...]ence
Headquarters, Wellington)

General Freyberg, The
Second Expeditionary Force and
Coalition Warfare in the
Mediterranean, 1940—43
May 9 DR CHRIS EICHBAUM,
(Private Secretary, Minister of Social
Welfare Office, Parliament)

Public Administration and
Political Management — Reflections
on the Labour Alliance Government
May 16 DR DEBORAH RUSS[...]University)

Neo—Roman Republicanism
and Treaty of Waitangi Settlements
May 22(WED)PROFESSOR
STEPHANIE HOLLIS, (Professor of
English, Auckland Universtity)

Getting a Life of Their Own:
Goscelins’ Life of St Edith(c. 1 180)
and the Wilton Community

**Note :this is a Wednesday
seminar** Venue to be advised
May 30 DR[...]Defence Studies, Massey
University)

Development of Command
Studies as a Discipline
June 6MAJOR GLYN HARPER,
(Centre for Defence Studies, Massey
University)

New Zealanders and the
Kaiser Battle, March
— April 19 18

SMALLBORE T[...]eaking course.

Massey Toastmasters is conducting
a 5 week public speaking course
held on Monday nights 7 to 9 pm,
from 22 April to 20 May 2002. The
venue is the OldMain Building,
MB2.01. Cost is $40. The course is
part of the Summer Recreation
programme. All bookings and
inquiries are made at the Massey
Recreation Centre receptionist desk.
The course is designed to help you
withpublic speakin[...]Toastmasters club meets
Wednesday from 12—1 pm in the Old
Main Building room MB 2.01 ground
level. Bring your lunch, and enjoy
the meeting.

Enquires to — Colin Leong, ext 2017
([...]d
familiar faces
For all your haircare

Stockists of:
Fudge
Joico

Ice

SUNBED!!

New to the 589 this year!

4,. . 5

tment

"8.30am to 5.00pm

' ‘ - te night Thursday
(1?” . ' Sit morning by
a appointment

q PH: 355 4801

FEMALE VOLUNTEERS NEEDED

We need female volunteers, aged 18—
24 to take part in a study looking at
the relationships between hormones,
sleep, exercise and the menstrual
cycle. We are looking for women who
do[...]Your
participation would involve 5— 10
minutes of your time, three mornings
a week to provide saliva, blood (taken
from a fingertip) and new ultrasound
technology. We ask you to fill in a
sleep log each morning of the study,
and to undergo two sub—maximal
treadmill fitness tests, one in the first
and one in the final week of the
study. All travel expenses will be
renumerated. The study runs from
April 15th to May 24th, 2002. If[...]aster
81. semester break to help with all
aspects of video production. All
expenses covered 81. credit[...]o encourage academic
performance and potential as a design
and development engineer. These
scholarships are tenable for the third
and fourth years of study and are worth
$5,000 per annum for two years plus
paid project work of at least 300 hours.
They may be held by candidates who are
pursuing studies for a Bachelor of
Technology/ Engineering degree at the
Palmerston North campus majoring in
Information Engineering, Computer
Systems Enginee[...]o encourage academic performance and
potential as a software and system
development engineer. This scholarship
is tenable for the third and fourth years
of study and is worth $5,000 per annum
for two years. The Scholarship may be
held by a candidate who is pursuing
studies for a Bachelor of Technology/
Engineering degree at the Palmerston
North campus majoring in Information
Engineering, Computer Systems
Enginee[...]2.

New Zealand Olive Association
Research Grant: The New Zealand
Olive Association offers a grant of

$1 ,500 to a student enrolled in a
postgraduate or undergraduate
diploma at Massey University or
Lincoln University, working on some
aspect of olive production, processing
or marketing. The Association will
award one grant to each University for
a suitable project that is carried out in
2002 and that meets the criteria of the
grant application. Applications (on
the prescribed form) will close on 31St
March 2002.

Rewi Alley Scholarship in Modern
Chinese: The purpose of this
scholarship is to encourage study and
research on China, preferably in New
Zealand. Applicants must be older
than 18 years. The value of the
scholarship is $500 and the tenure is
for one year. Application forms are
available from: The Postgraduate
Studies and Scholarships Office, B
Block Annex, The University of
Waikato or E—Mail:

scholarshipsgq‘zwaika’to.ac.nz. Closing
date is 31St March 2002.

The Golden Plover Award: The
award is open to a student
undertaking original research at
Masters level at any University in New
Zealand. The award is available for
original research, which relates to any
aspect of the ecology or management
of wetlands. The value of the
scholarship is US$500 per annum for
one year. Application forms are
available from: The Postgraduate
Studies and Scholarships Office, B
Block Annex, The University of
Waikato or E—Mail:

scholarshipsgpwaika’to.ac[...]s 31St March 2002.

NOTICEBOARDS ARE AVAILABLE
AT THE FOLLOWING LOCATIONS:
SOCIAL SCIENCES LECTURE
BLOCK FOYER, TURITEA SITE AND
IN EACH ACADEMIC UNIT

MUS)

www.musa.org.nz

5. San Antonio Spurs, the hottest team in the NBA
are hitting their strides as just the right time —
their midwest counterparts, the T—Wolves have lost
seven straight, whilst the Spurs have won 9
straight.

4. New Zealand Sevens[...]oes South Africa.

3. Alfie Langer, Legend. What a comeback from the
35 year old maestro, as he orchestrated a massive
42—6 win over the North Queensland Cowboys.

2. Michael Campbell, w[...]everything, and
hopefully he can challenge Tiger in Augusta.

1. Nathan Astle, who else could it have[...]loud,
Caddick should have learnt his lesson after the
first couple. We haven’t seen smashing like that
since the days of Lance...

Chumps

5. Minnesota Timberwolves, despite having the
NBA’s most expensive player Kevin Garnett
($19.[...]ned for their fifth straight round one exit
from the playoffs.

4. Scott Young, he needs glasses BIG TIME. After
awarding Steve Kefu the dodgiest try of all time two
weeks back, he hands Werner Greeff a try versus
the Highlanders after Greeff handed the ball on
enabling him to score.

3. South Sydney Rabbitohs, was there a bigger flop
with regards to comebacks in sport? They will
struggle this year, but have some depth from
reserve grades and the comfort of a crowd so
devoted they’d boo Santa Claus if he w[...]. Northern Eagles, this franchise is doomed after
the Manly—Warringah and Norths merger, and it got
worse with the signing of the star of “Crouching
Tiger, Hidden Finger”, John Hopoate. The NRL
brought back Souths, and I speak for the legions of
Manly fans when I say: BRING BACK THE MANLY
SEA EAGLES”

1.Football Kingz, they are the Bulls of the Super
12, and well, the Bulls of the NBA. They need an
attitude change and need to play a more balanced
game — none of the fancy stuff, just stick to the
basics.

Sam Macey

Hansie’s Hint

Our favourite friend of Satan gives his
weekly tip for making a few gorillas...

I don’t know about you but last weeks tip for Astle
has lead to my account at the local bookies being
reopened, after it was closed due to, well...a run of
bad luck. This weeks tip is for the soccer World Cup
this year in Japan and Korea — stay away from these
two teams, their only value in soccer circles is
comedy. An intriguing team to put a wager on is
Portugal at 14:1 — good odds for a team stacked with
talent. That’s my tip.

Hurricanes 40

Sharks 17

The Hurricanes bounced back from a loss to the Stormers
in Cape Town, and they handled the visiting runners—up
from a year ago with ease in the Stadium. They ran away
with the game in the first forty, and thanks to their hard
yards they were able to have their oranges at halftime with
the comfort of a 27—3 lead. Not bad for a team which was
bent over in the first twenty last week and found
themselves behind by 16—0 against a very inconsistent
Stormers side. Kupu Vanisi in his 50th Super 12 game and
coming back after a shocker of an ’01 season, led from the
front and opened the scoring within seven minutes, as he
sliced through some weak defence to dot down under the
posts. With Tana Umaga back in dominant form solidifying
the midfield, they would prove the doubters (put your hand
up — mine is) wrong by holding onto the lead and gaining a
vital bonus point. They host the Cats in week 5, and will
need to secure full points in this vital home game to
continue their path to the Holy Grail, the semi—finals.

All Blacks + Joe Maddock 34

Reds 27

I’m sick of these fricken Cantabrians. They know how to
win, I’ll give them that. They also have more ‘tools’ than a
Swiss Army Knife at their disposal — so many pl[...]ds another spinner to
accompany Daniel Vettori to the Sharjah one—day
tournament, the tour to Pakistan, and then on into the
future. At 23, Vettori is one of the Black Caps’ most
experienced players, who has a long career ahead of him in
the side. Unfortunately, Vettori is also highly susceptible to
injuries, something that is not helped by the workload he
has to carry with the side. His appearances in the team
have to be managed carefully, and selectors[...]t Bradburn have all been tried, but haven’t had the
required strike rates necessary for international cricket.

As a result, the selectors have had to revert to the
services of Chris Harris, who can bowl slow, varied deliver—
ies as well as having the ability to make runs with the bat.

New Zealand cricket has been hoping for som[...]Nash,
New Zealand cricket finally has some depth in its post—
Hadlee ranks. All that is needed is a dependable, interna—
tional standard, back—up spinner. Or is that too much to
expect for a cricketing nation like ous.

Brisbane — a city where no New Zealand team had won
since...they did last year. It was prepped to be the match
of the round, and the Crusaders ensured it would be a
classic encounter, with so much talent on one field there
had to be sparks. The Crusaders needed to win this
game to prove sceptics (my hand’s up in the air again)
were wrong about them having trouble on the road, as
opposed to the comforts of the Jade (RIP Lancaster Park)
Stadium. The first try was scored by Chris Jack, who did
his best impression of a belly flop by falling over the
tryline from a whopping two metres out. Caleb Ralph
played well for the Crusaders, as did openside flanker
Richie McCaw.’

Highlanders2 1

Stormers 20

The boot of Tony Brown kept the Highlanders on track
for a possible semis birth, and they won their third
straight match, their only blip on the screen a loss to the
Crusaders in round 1. Brown slotted six penalties and a
drop goal to lead them past Percy Montgomery’s five
penalties and a very dubious try by Werner Greeff, where
he actually knocked the ball on before dotting down. For
the Highlanders it was another solid all round effort,
despite having to rely on Brown perhaps a little too
much.

In front of the daunting 40,000 strong Newlands crowd,
their home hero Percy Montgomery choked with a pretty
damn easy penalty from 25 metres out, and as he hit the
post, you could see the whole crowd collectively saying
“Oh F...!”

They were denied a try in the last couple of minutes
when Tony Brown’s big hit on the streaking Greeff drove
him over the sideline and his assist for the try was
disallowed — sweet justice after his earlier break resulted
in a try.

Sam Macey

As a result of their slow rise to form and lack of
consistency at the early stages of this year’s Super
Twelve, the Hurricanes are struggling to attract crowds
to We[...]adium. Wellington
Union Chairman Rhys Barlow told the union’s annual
meeting last Thursday that crowd attendances for this
year’s matches against the Blues and the Sharks were
well down on what had been budgeted f[...]mances continue, low crowd
numbers will mean that the franchise would have less
money to pay out to the unions.

The Cake Tin, as it’s often referred to, has an
average Super 12 attendance of 34,142 people,
compared to 18,299 for New Plymouth, 14,540 for
Napier, and 15,568 for Palmerston North. For the
franchise, that equals an average attendance of 22,875,

second amongst the New Zealand franchises, behind the
Blues, who regularly expect 25,228 fans per game.
Canterbury get 19,005, Otago 18,279, while the Chiefs have
an abysmal average spectator turn out ofjust 12,836.

The Chiefs also have the ignominy of having the
lowest ever Super 12 turn out of 2 300 people, who watched
the Chiefs play the Waratahs at Hamilton in 2000. The
largest recorded crowd was for the Sharks versus the Cats
last year, which had 52 750. However, the team with the
best average turn out is the Stormers who, although they
have achieved little on field success in the competition, have
an average of 35,71 1.

As far as the three nations involved are concerned,
New Zealand teams have an average turn out of 19 881,
Australia has 18 563, while South Africa has a staggering
27 495 in comparison.

Wellington received $1.3 million from the Hurricanes
in 2001, and $1.1 million in 2000. About a third of these
profits goes to Wellington’s own clubs.[...]TACT:

EMAIL:

LOT NO:

| one tender per slip

\6 IN
0“ 76%
Q

7.30PM

RELAX F[...]yed his 100th first class game when
he played for the Highlanders on Saturday. Currently 27
years of age, Middleton played his first game for Otago
in 1996.

Honoured at Home

England soccer coach Sven—Goran Eriksson has had a
statue built in his honour. The town of Torsby, Sweden
unveiled the 1.7 metre tall likeness, where Eriksson
hails from.

Record Broken
Aaron Peirsol has broken the world record for the 200—

metre backstroke. The American came in at 1 minute
and 55.15 seconds.

Cairns Notted Up

A magnetic resonance imaging scan has revealed that
Kiwi cricketer Chris Cairns has a tear in one of the
tendons in his right knee, putting him in serious doubt
to be able to fulfil his obligation[...]driver James Cressey
will miss at least one round of the championship after
his car was severely damaged last Tuesday. It was being
towed to Sydney when the tow vehicle got a puncture.
The car was then hit from behind by a truck and pushed
for 100 metres, before catching[...]ONLY
ONE BOURBON
JIM BEAM !!

EFITZ a PA

SIII’EBI E”

30=

SA URDAY 30TH MARCH GALORE!

Y & COLLECT @ THE BAR - T-SH'RT

- TICKET
TO GAME

- 2 BEERS[...]

Because we know times
are tough for students, .. Sffi’cé

”r“ Professional

here’s a sharp deal on
Microsoft” Office XP Professional[...]mc MITH @mwsfie

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and all Microsoft Authorised Ed[...]t Corporation. All rights reserved. Microsoft and the Office logo are either registered trademarks
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See www.micro[...]

TXT

Drawing Crowds[...]an abysmal average spectator turn out of just 12,836.
The Chiefs also have the ignominy of having the
lowest ever Super 12 turn out of 2 300 people, who watched
As a result of their slow rise to form and lack of
the Chiefs play the Waratahs at Hamilton in 2000. The
consistency at the early stages of this year’s Super[...]largest recorded crowd was for the Sharks versus the Cats
Twelve, the Hurricanes are struggling to attract crowds[...]last year, which had 52 750. However, the team with the
to Wellington’s WestpacTrust Stadium.[...]best average turn out is the Stormers who, although they
Union Chairman Rhys Barlow told the union’s annual[...]have achieved little on field success in the competition, have
meeting last Thursday[...]an average of 35,711.
year’s matches against the Blues and the Sharks were
As far as the three nations involved are concerned,
w[...]tinue, low crowd
numbers will mean that the franchise would have less[...]New Zealand teams have an average turn out of 19 881,[...]Australia has 18 563, while South Africa has a staggering
27 495 in comparison.[...]Sports Shorts
money to pay out to the unions.
The Cake Tin, as it’s often referred to, has an[...]Wellington received $1.3 million from the Hurricanes
average Super 12 attendance of 34,142 people,[...]in 2001, and $1.1 million in 2000. About a third of these
compared to 18,299 for New Plymou[...]he played for the Highlanders on Saturday. Currently 27[...]Napier, and 15,568 for Palmerston North. For the years of age, Middleton played his first game for Otago
franchise, that equals an average attendance of 22,875, in 1996.[...]England soccer coach Sven-Goran Eriksson has had a[...]statue built in his honour. The town of Torsby, Sweden[...]unveiled the 1.7 metre tall likeness, where Eriksson[...]Aaron Peirsol has broken the world record for the 200-[...]metre backstroke. The American came in at 1 minute[...]A magnetic resonance imaging scan has revealed that[...]Kiwi cricketer Chris Cairns has a tear in one of the[...]tendons in his right knee, putting him in serious doubt[...]will miss at least one round of the championship after[...]towed to Sydney when the tow vehicle got a puncture.
LOT NO:[...]The car was then hit from behind by a truck and pushed[...]

TYP[...]an informal group of women[...]postgrads, inclusive of Honours,[...]New Zealanders and the[...]meets socially on the last friday of The Golden Plover Award: The
Samantha Russell[...]the month to network with other SMALLBORE TARG[...]award is open to a student[...]women in the Manawatu region. If tonight, meet at Fitz c[...]Masters level at any University in New[...]Zealand. The award is available for[...]aspect of the ecology or management
Vanessa Barnes Hard to believe that the first semester is almost half[...]Further information is available from of wetlands. The value of the
over... After the holidays it’s only seven weeks until exams and[...]SPORTS EDITOR dozens of assignments to complete and hand in... It can be a very[...]a 5 week public speaking course email cont[...]available from: The Postgraduate[...]If you’re feeling stressed there are a number of[...]from 22 April to 20 May 2002. The OPEN Networks Scholarships:[...]venue is the OldMain Building, Two Scholarships are given by OPEN Block Annex, The University of[...]peek-a-boo@clear.net.nz.
& ARTISTS:[...]MB2.01. Cost is $40. The course is Networks Limited to encourage aca[...]1) Go see the people at the Student Learning Centre (in the old[...]part of the Summer Recreation performance and potential as a design scholarships@waikato.ac.nz. Closing[...]Huia Welton army barricks on the oval near business studies). They’re a great[...]inquiries are made at the Massey scholarships are tenable for the third[...]on Centre receptionist desk. and fourth years of study and are worth NOTICEBOARDS ARE AVAILABL[...]1-2 pm Referencing: when, where, The course is designed to help you $5,000 per annum for two years plus AT THE FOLLOWING LOCATIONS:
Samantha Russell 2) If the stress is making you feel like you need to talk t[...]c speaking, presentation paid project work of at least 300 hours. SOCIAL SCIENCES LECTURE[...]University Staff cutting the ribbon, officially opening the new how and why.
Matthew Bennett then a great port of call is Student Counselling (opposite Colombo[...]ay... All workshops are held in Annexe B
Rebecca McGrath Hall). The people that work at Student Counselling are train[...]masters club meets pursuing studies for a Bachelor of IN EACH ACADEMIC UNIT[...]at the SLC (Old Hostel Building)
Grant Bu[...]Wednesday from 12-1 pm in the Old Technology/Engineering degree at the[...]Chris Beard They also have a library of books that can assist you in coping[...]01 ground Palmerston North campus majoring in[...]Nick Holm with heaps of things including anxiety.[...]throughout mid-semester break. the meeting. Systems Engi[...]The Speed Reading computer course
Steve Asplin MUSA. The advocacy coordinator can help you with WINZ stuff[...]o
William Muirhead runs a hardship fund so that if no one else can help you[...]will. (if you’d like more information about the hardship fund you
Karen Chan can come up to MUSA and pick up a form or you can make an
Michael Harv[...]Massey Chaplaincy The best thing about exams and assignments is that[...]they do end. If you’re going to look for a job over mid semester[...]break (after you’ve digested that vast quantity of chocolate Easter Events Centre in action - a well-behaved crowd at this year’s[...]Toga party as part of MUSA’s MONSTER ORIENTATION last[...]ck
out the job boards. Part of your MUSA levy goes into funding mont[...]Uncle Trev use them. In Palmy they are located on Princess Street, just
Beerboy round the corner from Broadway Ave (where the movie theatre is).[...]If you’re leaving Palmy then you can always use the other Student
Dr Who
Job Search offices around the country. For more details check[...]MUSA, Massey Universsity, Have a great Easter, remember to eat plenty of hot cross
and/or any related parties or[...]buns (my favourite!!) and try to have a bit of a break from the
individuals take no responsibility for books.
all, or any of the views and opinions
expressed herein, and in all Huia
concordance with the material
consisting that which makes us PS - MUSA is open over all holidays (apart from the public ones
unaccountable for being therein the and the days between Christmas and New Year’s) so come up and
purveyors of freedom of speech and see us. Signing the blanket of debt - acknowledging ten years of student
the voice of filthy students[...]loans (and ten years of student hardship).
everywhe[...]